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'The Seeker' - Common App - University of Michigan #2


tenorzero 2 / 2  
Oct 24, 2012   #1
Essay #2 (Required for all applicants. 500 words maximum)
Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the speci#c undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree
programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests?

The Seeker

I consider myself to be a seeker of opportunities and challenges unlike a few years ago when I hid my ambitions. Now at every chance possible I try to push myself to new heights by taking risks. Being a man of many passions, I look forward to waking up on a diverse campus with a multitude of activities, being in a larger city than my home town, and sharing my passion of music with fellow students.

Singing is my major passion but I am faced with the possibility of not advancing in the entertainment business. Two years ago my director saw my potential, but because of self-doubt I barely could glimpse my star quality. However, I finally realized getting knocked down is required for growth. So I finally took my own advice during my junior year and let myself begin dreaming. The one dream I had was to attend a school of music at a top university.

During the annual All-State Honors Choir in Kalamazoo at Western Michigan University, the U of M representative called me over at the college fair after my rehearsal. The woman was very enthusiastic in discussing the different programs that the School of Music, Dance, and Theater offered. After speaking with her, I set a goal in my mind that I would apply to that school alongside the School of Literature, Arts, and Science. The last confirmation that I needed was to see their campus.

It was a windy and cool afternoon when we had already gotten dressed and walked through Ann Arbor to U of M's campus. Every noise thrilled me and every turn I saw something interesting that made me want to stay there more than one day. Ann Arbor's sidewalks and cafes, with U of M's dorms and study halls caught my attention and held it the entire day. No matter where I looked there were unique individuals I wanted to talk with. Something important to me is cultural and ethnic diversity, this allows there to be a variety of student organizations. During the tour the choirs and a cappella groups are what drew my attention the most. All I knew was that after seeing the campus I chose. During my visit I could tell that the programs offered would benefit me while in a friendly environment.

At seventeen, I have no idea what the rest of my life looks like but I do know that the School of Music, Dance, and Theater, or the school of Literature, Science, and the Arts would make a huge impact on my future.

jakejellings201 1 / 6  
Oct 24, 2012   #2
I really like the first paragraph of your essay!

"Two years ago my director saw my potential, but because of self-doubt I barely could glimpse my star quality. However, I finally realized getting knocked down is required for growth. So I finally took my own advice during my junior year and let myself begin dreaming."------ Did something happen during this period? It was a little confusing, I might revise it a bit.

"All I knew was that after seeing the campus I chose." I would put a comma after the word campus

"During my visit I could tell that the programs offered would benefit me while in a friendly environment." I would also put the word "I'm" in between while and in.

Overall, it was really great, especially in the beginning!
Oh, and could you look at my essay?
sf18 1 / 4  
Oct 24, 2012   #3
I like your essay and all, but when you are describing the campus are you talking about the UMich campus as a whole or the campus of the specific school to which you're applying to? From what I understood of the prompt, they want the applicant to discuss/describe/elaborate on the specific qualities of the school/college of Umich that you are applying to (assuming they mean qualities of certain programs, majors, honors and residential college, or even the music programs) that convinced you to apply and not just about the school in general.

I hope I wasn't too harsh but I was just making sure that you know exactly what they want you to answer in that prompt.


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