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"I've always seemed to transcend in English" - Gates - Subject you exceled in


mimiallen 4 / 8  
Jan 4, 2011   #1
Prompt
Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success?

Over the years the stress of school work seemed to be unbearable. The class work in all seven of my classes began to become burdensome causing my grades to fluctuate. Even though I struggled in all of my classes I've always seemed to transcend in English. Entering the 9th grade, I still had the mentality of a Junior High school student. I thought that every class including English was going to be easy, and I was mistaken. My English teacher gave my class a book to read and we were told to decipher it, find its underlying themes, and literary elements. All of this appeared to be an abundance of work compared to Junior High school. Instead of thinking negatively about the situation, I thought of it as a way to help improve my writing skills. I did everything that my teacher asked and always received a high grade. It became clear that English was my strongest subject.

Not only did I have to read and analyze books, but I also had to write essays. I was told to write a critical lens essay and it had to be due the next week. I never heard of a critical lens essay so I decided to ask my teacher for assistance. My teacher explained everything that was required for the essay, and I felt relieved because it was not as complicated as it seemed. I turned in my paper nervously hoping that I passed since this was my first time ever writing this type of essay. After my teacher graded everyone's essay I became jittery wondering what I got. My teacher placed my English paper faced town, and as I turned my paper over my face lit up with a smile. I received my first 100 in that class all because of my hard work and determination. I continued to get 100's on all of my essays, quizzes, and exams.

As I entered the 10th grade my English teacher was aware of how well I was doing in her class, and suggested that I help my classmates who were struggling. This was a big compliment to me. I helped students with their writing, corrected their essays, and they were free to come to me for any additional help. Those who received assistance from me began to receive higher grades on their paper and no longer needed my assistance. I felt accomplished because not only did I remain to do well in English, but I helped someone do the same. Having a positive mentality and a tenacious demeanor appeared to contribute to my high grades. Not only did my mentality change but I also changed as a person. I became aware that by helping others do well, I exceeded the boundaries of an average student.

Feel free to comment and make any corrections.
kikiallen 1 / 10  
Jan 5, 2011   #2
"an English education" - Gates- Subject you exceled in

Prompt:Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success?

In the past African Americans were restricted from learning how to read and write, but still tried to learn every opportunity they received. Today, many African American teenagers do not appreciate the opportunity of being able to get an English education. In relation, when I was younger I never really enjoyed English, but as I matured I learned to appreciate as well as excel in this subject. Looking back on the past, there was a process involved in developing my interest for English. When I was too young enough to read by myself, late at night my mother would read me and my sister a story, that we enjoyed so much. Then my mother would ask us several questions pertaining to the story in order to determine if we understood the story; although I hated the questions I always had to answer them. As time progressed, and I entered junior high school, my interest in English increased as I was often challenged by my English teacher. My English teacher always was strict about writing essays and taught us how to develop a clear and concise point, drawing the reader into the subject. She always, slaughtered my essays, teaching me give supporting details and how to write in depth. Obtaining the skills of writing prepared me for English in high school, where I enjoyed reading and writing, getting 90s and higher on everything. I got the opportunity to fully understand English, by reading Toni Morrison novels' in which the teacher made us analyze themes in order to portray Toni Morrison's purpose of challenging society views on conventionality. I enjoyed writing critical lens essays and would always go in depth, writing so well I got the opportunity to assist others. As a teenager I now appreciate my mother's questioning and my English teachers, because helped me excel in English and understand why my ancestors were tenacious to learn how to read and write. To be able to open and decipher every aspect of a book is amazing, as well as writing an essay reflecting your view point about it.
leia624 4 / 5  
Jan 5, 2011   #3
Good essay! It's good that you explained how you've changed.
But I think it is better to have Intro, body and conclusion.
I think your conclusion is fine but you don't have an introduction.
You just started explaining so you should break your first paragraph into two parts or
make an introduction!

Good luck!!
kikiallen 1 / 10  
Jan 5, 2011   #4
thank you for your comments and suggestions I will fix my essay immediately!


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