Greetings! This is my very first self-introduction essay for scholarship. Kindly suggest me what to fix and I'd be so grateful. So here it starts.
self-introduction essay
My Name is Khin, 22 years old Burmese from Myanmar, and I am on track to earn my Bachelor of Arts in French at University of Foreign Languages, Yangon. I am writing to apply for the scholarship program for Pusan National University offered by Gyeongnam Foreign Residents' Support Center. My educational aspirations consist of acquiring a bachelor's degree in French language that would assist me in pursuing a career as a French language instructor. My career vision is to one day be able to provide affordable (or even free) language classes to marginalized communities in my country and to people in any part of the world who can't afford to take a higher level education pertaining to learning a foreign language which would be the main key for their professional development and employability. However, I am certain that if I do not complete my university degree I could never have the opportunity to achieve my career goals as a FLE teacher who is an expert in teaching French as a foreign language. I decided that I will attain a career as a language teacher since my passion has always been assisting others, especially the youths, and trying to improve their quality of life. Therefore, I think that pursuing such a career will provide me the opportunity to help improve the community's educational conditions and learn about their needs.
I remember the time I chose French major when I first apply for university entrance. Although French is not as popular as other science or engineering majors in my country, my father encouraged me to choose whatever I wanted to study as a university student. I grew up with his books and basically he was the one who made me familiar with western languages, literature and poetry since my childhood as well. As a child, I think I unconsciously absorbed the idea of learning a foreign language and its aesthetics in many aspects so in my early university years, I fell in love right away with French literature, poetry and of course mainly with its captivating morphosyntax as well. My father passed away in my final year. Like any other daughters, it was a great loss for me as well as for my family. Losing a loved one was never an easy passing-by and I had to take a break in my studies due to financial problems of my family and my mental health during that phase. Remembering what he wanted me to be, somehow I stood up again and managed to pass the B1 level DELF exam which is known as Diploma in French Language Studies last year by my own effort of self-study and the emotional and financial support of my family, including my mother. I hope my father is contented seeing me continue pursuing my dreams if he ever looks us down from heaven.
Talking about my previous academic background, it was an intense enthusiastic interest in studies and other activities that benefited my fellow students and the community around the university, for instance, I participated in various academic activities such as volunteering at the international conferences, being the co-founder of university's literature club and so on. My very first volunteer experience started at the International Conference of Language and Humanity which was held by my university in 2020. Since then, my passion for working in a sector which can lead to the development of the society has been strengthened. Being the person responsible of university's literature club and the co-editor of students' newspaper, Courier, I have organized and assisted in club's events, workshops and university students' art exhibitions as well. Hence, I believe that I have expertise teamwork and leadership skills and I suppose that I'd be a good fit for the scholarship program.
With my education, I can help the community and the future of youths with integrity and enthusiasm as I value intellectual growth of children in my country, encouraging them to be creative, engaged and lifelong learners. Thus, you're not just helping me get through my bachelor degree; you're improving the quality of life for countless families to come. I was ecstatic when I first saw this scholarship opportunity as I believe that South Korea is an excellent destination for international studies. On the other hand, I am impressed by the fact that South Korea is one of the countries where the international students are welcomed and who continue to realize the tremendous value of international exchange as well as by its bastion of innovation.
If selected for this scholarship, I will continue to apply the same diligence to my academic studies as I have to this point, making education and service to others my top priority. I will represent your Korean organization well during my years in university and beyond. Thank you in advance for your consideration.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Since this scholarship is exclusive to Burmese students, there is no need to mention anything beyond your name, age, and transfer course of interest. Neither is it important to mention the name of the scholarship and who is offering it. The revewers are already knowledgable about these details. Do not be redundant, nor offer irrelevant information. These presentation sentences sound like word fillers and nothing more. These are irrelevant sentences.
The reference in the essay should concentrate on how you developed a love for French in particular. The discussion about the general language exposure takes too much space in that paragraph. That should be shortened to allow for more of an interesting introduction of your interest and the development of that interest in French.
Try to tie in your interest in studying French within the educational system of South Korea with the overall essay. You are trying to explain why you believe that learning French in a Hangul speaking nation will be beneficial to you beyond SK being a foreign student embracing country. Why not aim or aspire to get a scholarship in France instead?
