Prompt: Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.
Be as harsh as you like. Any comments, criticisms, or whatever are truly appreciated!
I am a self-proclaimed mutt. I'm not using this word as a self-depreciating term but rather as an illustration of my diversity; no single category, culture, or personality type will ever fit me completely. I am and I prefer a variety in many things, from friends to food. A mixture by culture, I was born of an Asian mother and an American father, and I was raised in various countries of Europe for more than half of my life, moving every four years or so.
As for my interests? I am also quite a mélange in those, too; I am fascinated by the sciences, yet consider myself quite artistic. I enjoy the fine arts, yet also take pleasure from health and fitness. My hobbies range from skydiving to self help books.
I can be firm and stand my ground, yet my mind is always open. I will never dismiss an idea without first exploring it... or a bad-smelling food without first trying it. I am a grounded individual and I habitually place work before play. Work has a deadline. Fun does not. Obligations aside, I am a thrill seeker and I like to have a good time, as long as it's within the reasonable boundaries of not risking my own or another's safety. My lifetime goal is to be able to use what I learn, what I am capable of, and everything that I am to help others in any way that I can.
Some say I'm unique, and I take that as a compliment. Some say I'm weird, and I take that as a compliment, too. It's impossible to sum myself up in eighteen hundred characters or less, but as we get to know each other, you'll discover many more quirky characteristics about me, such as that I like to paint designs on my nails, or that I study body language in my spare time. So, no matter your culture, interests, personality, or quirky tendencies, I look forward to knowing you.
I am a self-proclaimed mutt. I'm not using this word as a self-depreciating term but rather as an illustration of my diversity; no single category, culture, or personality type will ever fit me completely.(I took out a sentence because it seems to interrupt the flow of the paragraph) A mixture by culture, I was born of an Asian mother and an American father, and I was raised in various countries of Europe for more than half of my life.
As for my interests? I am also quite a mélange in those, too; I am fascinated by the sciences, yet consider myself quite artistic. I enjoy the fine arts, yet also find pleasure in health and fitness. My hobbies range from skydiving to reading self help books.
No need to help me I'm done with my apps.
The rest of the essay seems fine. I actually read the passage before reading the question and I was kind of wondering how this would help someone get to know you better. The stuff you say seems pretty general and basic. Why don't you mention what kind of art you like? for example I think I would know you better if you said
I enjoy all kinds of art from the classics of Rembrandt and Picasso to the controversial pieces like those of Andy Warhol's .
rather than
I enjoy the fine arts, yet also take pleasure from health and fitness.
I was born ofto an Asian mother
I was raised in various countries of Europe for more than half of my life, movingrelocating every four years or so.
I can be firm and stand my ground, yetbut my mind is always open to new ideas .
Feel free to ignore these, they're simply word choice suggestions. (i.e. "relocate" is more evocative that "move" to me).
I and would love a read back
