If you could post the prompt with the essay then it would be really easy to give feedback!
ARGENTINA
I think you could write it as
Argentina . By the way you can keep it as it is too!
Personally, I have a liking for progress and self-sustainability
My access to education created in me a burning desire to serve humanity
You can rephrase it likecreated a burning desire in meneeded values education and
I think you meant
valued education
Due to the collection of funds, i t has not only improved the income of the locals but also it has uplifted the hopes of the dissilutioned people by promising a brighter future
Who collected funds? Was it you or anyone else? If it's you then you gotta give some description of the project.service project "Mundo Nuevo" the being
It just doesn't make any sense. If you are referring to the project then just don't use these words.Reply the new one with the prompt then I will be able to help you more!