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Semester at Sea Application Essay! 'effects of diversity and the sociological perspective'


mayapettes 1 / 1  
Mar 26, 2014   #1
The prompt for this essay that I chose to write is:
How will your Semester at Sea voyage create (or enhance) your personal global perspective? Highlight your discussion by referencing at least one country on your itinerary and by explaining how your time there will further develop your awareness. (300-500 words)

Here is what I have written and I would love some feedback on it. Thanks in advance for your help!


Growing up in Southern California as a biracial young woman, I have been raised with an understanding and appreciation for diversity in the world. The ever-present diversity in my life has given me the desire to help people without the resources to help themselves. My life goal is to become a surgeon and make an impact on the world. As a future surgeon, one of my primary goals will be to find a way to provide treatment for people with little, or no, access to medical care. Participating in the Semester at Sea program and traveling to 12 different countries during this semester long journey will allow me to gain a well-rounded global perspective and offer me the opportunity to understand different cultures in our world.

I am a biology student minoring in sociology. I see the world through a lens that is unique as I see the value of diversity and the sociological perspective in everything. I will strive to make biological and sociological connections out of the experiences that will be had throughout the Semester at Sea journey, for it will allow me to broaden my horizons and help me grow as an individual.

​Poverty and lack of medical resources is a frustrating, as well as fascinating, aspect of being a medical professional. While there are many areas of our world that need assistance with health care, Ghana is one port on the journey I am interested in. The lack of medical resources in Ghana is causing problems such as rampant disease and premature death because people are unable to seek the proper treatment. As a prospective visitor of this country, I hope to learn more about the obstacles in receiving consistent medical care for their citizens. I also want to learn more about the culture and ways of the people of Ghana. I expect this particular port will help me as my career grows over time for I will strive to have an understanding of the needs and necessities that are required to help care for the people of Ghana. Working to help the most vulnerable people in our world is extremely important to me. I want to learn about Ghana and begin cultivating my plans to do my share by helping those who need it most. Additionally, while Ghana is a primary port of interest to me, I am certain Semester at Sea will provide me a precious opportunity to help connect with the world and become a more experienced observer of this world.

I am currently a student and young adult who wants to see how the rest of the world lives. I hope to experience first-hand what sitting in a classroom and recalling information from a textbook cannot. This voyage will help me fulfill two lifelong desires: 1) Traveling and 2) Experiencing other cultures around the world. Semester at Sea is the perfect way for me to fulfill both of these desires while enhancing my global perspective. I see this as an opportunity of a lifetime and I expect if I am granted this opportunity, it will life changing for me.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 26, 2014   #2
Growing up in Southern California as a biracial individual, I have been raised with an understanding and appreciation for diversity in this world. Being raised in this setting and lifestyle, I have grown up with a desire to help people without the resources to help themselves.

You repeat the "raising" part couple of times in these two lines and too frequently. I feel you better rephrase these sentences to enhance their effect. This is what I suggest;

Growing up in Southern California as a biracial individual, I have been raised with a great understanding and appreciation for diversity in this world. This background of mine also nurtured my desire to help people who are in need.


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