Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 6


Set Your Arms Down; NYU Dramatic Writing Portfolio


skipperdee 1 / 2  
Mar 24, 2013   #1
This is what they're looking for: Submit 3-4 separate writing samples that together total at least 15 pages and that do not exceed 25 pages. At least one of these samples MUST be a sample of dramatic writing (Screenplay, Stage Play, or Script for Television). The other 2-3 samples may be, but are not limited to, additional dramatic writing samples, memoirs, short stories, fictional material, and adaptation based on fact. Choose material that is dramatic and self-contained, with an inherent conflict, a strong protagonist, and a beginning, middle, and end.

I guess this would be classified as "additional dramatic writing". I like the premise (I had a dream two nights ago that these people were on the run from an unseen force and then the "safe house" they were staying at collapses, falling into a black abyss. I started writing it that day and I just finished it...I think) but I feel as if the ending isn't exactly...clear. I always feel like no one understands what the hell I'm trying to say with the things that I write, but as cliche as this sounds, this story absolutely wrote itself. I'm applying to Tisch's Dramatic Writing Program because I feel as if I'm a better storyteller than I am a filmmaker but it's so hard for me to write what I see. I can see this story in my head, I can see it as a film, but it's hard to convey it all in my writing, ugh. Well, I'll stop rambling. Oh and the title is after a song by Warpaint.

Set Your Arms Down

Kyle Matherson is on the run with his family. He isn't quite sure as to what they are running from, but he knows that it has to be something pretty damn terrifying to scare the ever living shit out of his mother. She woke him up at around two in the morning three months ago on November 12th. "Kyle!" she whispered loudly. "We need to go." He wouldn't budge. Kyle is quite possibly the heaviest sleeper in the western hemisphere. She leaned in close to his ear, her breath warm on his earlobe, "Kyle if we do not leave now we are all going to die." Kyle awoke instantly. He wasn't sure if the desperation in her voice had seeped into his subconscious...or if her breath had tickled his ear. Small things like could wake him instantly; a kitten purring, the hum of the dryer...but he could sleep through a big brass band, easy. Kyle had never seen his mother look so terrified. She had wrapped her long blonde hair into a bun and told everyone to pack their bags. Kyle's youngest sister, Cara, was five years old. "Kyle. Mom says we might die...that could be fun, right?" she had asked him. Kyle stared blankly at his sister. He felt tears sting his eyes. Where had those come from? His eyes felt raw, like they were burning. He wanted them to burn, he liked to feel groggy and weary...but he'd never admit that to anyone. He loved to feel weak, but appearing weak was one of his worst fears. Kyle's older sister Jennifer was packing in her bedroom. He walked into her room to find her stuffing what appeared to be a long ball gown into her duffel bag. "Jenn...what the hell is that for?" She smiled, although Kyle could see a hint of fear in her eyes, "If I am going to die, I'm going to look damn good doing it. If that...thing, guts me, I'll be ready for it. I'll be dead, but I'll still be pretty. Is that so wrong, that I want to die beautifully?" She turned away and muttered, "God." No one would tell Kyle what the "thing" was. He was 17 years old, old enough to know what was coming after them. His sister was only a year older than him. "Old enough to understand and woman enough to take it. Men are so weak." his mother would always say. Kyle wondered why she had to be so...over the top. His father came bursting into the house holding a box of handmade weapons, his long bushy beard had saltine crumbs in it. "I've got them! Um...Lisa!? Lisa come down here!" Kyle's mother, Lisa, came charging down the stairs. "Barry! Where the hell have you been! I was worried out of my mind, what the hell were you- what is this? Are you kidding? These are the weapons you have been working on for MONTHS!?" Her eyes widened and her face turned a faint shade of pink. Kyle wondered if she was angry or embarrassed, he never could tell. "They don't look like much, I know. But trust me, they can defeat this...thing." Lisa nodded and placed her hand on her husband's shoulder. "Alright. LET'S GO!" Jennifer had come charging out of her bedroom wearing a mini skirt and a toolbelt filled with knives. "That's my girl." Lisa smiled. "Cara!?" Cara came running out of the kitchen wearing cargo pants, a t-shirt with a dalmatian on it, a pink cowgirl hat and a toolbelt identical to her sister's...but instead of knives, it was filled with an eggbeater and two spoons. Kyle shook his head and grabbed his sister's hand. The family left their home, supplies in tow. The weather had been dry, and Kyle could have sworn that aurora borealis was lighting up the sky. It appeared to be a faint hint of red and swirls of orange seemed to be present, but that was impossible. "Hey, what's with the sky?" Kyle had asked. His parents had look at eachother, then turned toward their son, "It's coming, son." his father had breathed, "it's...coming."

It is now February and the "thing" still hasn't found them. Kyle has grown suspicious of his family. He knows that he can't possibly be the only sane one amongst them, but he is convinced that his mother is at least somewhat unhinged. They're living miles away from their home in Los Angeles, somewhere in the Nevada desert. His father purchased an RV for the voyage, but it broke down weeks ago. They've been stranded in the same spot ever since. Kyle can hear his parents talking. "Barry, we need to just go. We can't stay here. It will find us, we are sitting ducks!" Lisa's voice cracks. "Honey, it's okay. We've got the crossbows and the-" she smacks the weapon out of his hand, "Screw the fucking crossbows Barry, goddamn it!" she says in a hushed, but aggressive tone of voice. She sighs, "It will find us here! We have to get the hell out of this place." she sobs quietly. Kyle had never seen his mother cry, ever. Kyle shakes his head. He is sure that his parents are off their rocker now. They have talked about the "end times" since Jennifer was a child. They taught all of their children how to use weapons like crossbows and knives, preparing them for "The Beast". Jennifer finally told Kyle the "thing's" official name a few nights ago. He had laughed. It sounded so lame, but he was scared. His parents had always told them that this day would come, when they'd have to run. Neither of his parent's were religious, the family didn't celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah...and Kyle had never met his grandparents. He wasn't even sure where his parents came from. He has lived in 12 different cities, from New York to Seattle to Oregon and various other places throughout California since he was a baby. His parents have been running from "The Beast" for as long as he could remember. Kyle can't sleep. He exits his tent and sits next to Jennifer near their campfire. "Jenn. What if mom and dad are just...insane?" Jennifer sighs, "Oh Kyle, so naive and so...stupid." she laughs and turns to look him in the eyes, "I know this seems crazy, but trust me, The Beast is out there. It's waiting for us. It's everywhere. They just don't know it yet." Kyle looks at her and shakes his head, "They? They who?" Jennifer gets up and walks back to the tent, she turns before unzipping it, "Don't worry about it, okay?" she smiles weakly and enters her tent.

"Wake up!" Lisa snaps her fingers in Kyle's face. "Oh mommy, you know that won't work!" Cara smiles and leans in close to her brother's face. She whispers, "Baby beluga." Kyle wakes up with a jolt, "Where is it? The coffee grounds are in my toe jam..." Jennifer rolls her eyes, "Hey jerk off, we gotta go." Her mother slaps her arm playfully. "Can you not?" she asks as she picks up Cara and heads for the RV. Jennifer shrugs and follows her mother. Barry helps his son up, "Sorry kid, we have to go. Now. I managed to fix this old piece of crap with my 'worthless' tools." He scoffs. Kyle looks up at the sky, it is so blue and clear. He wishes he were at the beach, or at a baseball game, or even at home studying. He has sand in his boxers and his throat feels scratchy and dry. "Dad," he whispers, "dad...can we please just go home? Or...to a hotel even?" Barry shakes his head while lifting Kyle to his feet, "I know it's hard buddy, but we have to get the hell away from this thing. We have to save ourselves, okay? And a hotel, that's just too dangerous." Kyle stares at his dad's long, scraggly beard...it's full of sand and dirt. He helps his dad load the rest of their things into the RV. He's too tired to argue, and he falls asleep as soon as he climbs in.

Kyle wakes up to the sound of his younger sister laughing. The sun should be setting soon. "No Jenny, I am not going to lick peanut butter off my hands." Jennifer rolls her eyes, "Come on kid, you haven't lived til' you've done it. Mom, why- no, how did you raise such a neat freak?" Lisa turns to give Jennifer a playfully stern look. "Lisa..." Barry is sitting in the passenger seat as his wife is driving, and he notices that the road ahead of them is slowly cracking. "Leese, Lisa!" She looks down at the road and swerves just as a huge crack splits the center of the pavement open. Lisa manages to get the RV off the road steadily, just as three cars fly into the gaping hole on the pavement. Kyle stares out the window in disbelief, "What the fuck!?" he yells. Cara is screaming. "It's here!" Barry yells. Lisa begins to drive the RV on the side of the sandy road as the crack continues down the entire stretch of the pavement. "The ground is just, cracking open! What the hell is this? Mom!?" Kyle looks at his mother desperately in the rearview mirror. She makes eye contact with him, then looks away. "It's The Beast, son." Barry turns around and looks at Kyle sympathetically. Cara grabs Jennifer's hand, "Mommy! What is happening? I'm scared." Lisa drives faster, the dust rising in the air. "Where are we going?" Kyle asks. He doesn't understand, he was so sure that his parents were just insane. "Mom, maybe it was an earthquake! We wouldn't be able to feel it in here and-" a deep, booming voice interrupts him, "YOU CAN'T RUN!" Kyle freezes, Lisa speeds up, Barry grabs his wife's shoulder, Cara whimpers and Jennifer stares at Kyle with a knowing look on her face. "Jenn..." he whispers, "what is this?" She takes his hand and says, "Everything."

Lisa has been driving for hours. It's dark out now and Kyle is staring out the window. He isn't sure how to feel. His youngest sister is sleeping and Jennifer has been in the back room with the door closed for at least an hour. Kyle wants to check on her, but he feels exhausted. He doesn't understand why, he hasn't done anything but sit and stare out the window silently since the ground opened up and swallowed innocent people whole. "I have to be hallucinating," he whispers, "I just...I have to be." He can't sit any longer. He gets up and walks toward the back bedroom of the RV. He and Jennifer have a signature knock, she knows it's him and opens up. She's lying on the bed. She looks up at him and smiles weakly. "Hey." Kyle feels as if he's having an outer body experience. "Jenn, this can't be real. I mean, what the hell was that? I could rationalize the ground opening up and...devouring people, sort of...but that voice-" Jennifer nods, "I know. I know, it doesn't make sense." Kyle shakes his head, "How are you so calm?" She closes her eyes and says, "Just on the inside." The RV stops moving. Kyle stands up and draws back the curtains and sees what appears to be an old victorian house. "We're in front of some house...out in the middle of the desert?" Jennifer sits up, they both stare at each other silently. Kyle smirks, "It might be time to break out that dress, sis." Jenn laughs, "How are you so calm?" Kyle turns toward the door and whispers, "I'm honestly terrified, but we need to keep it together...for Cara." he opens the door and heads to the front of the RV. Cara wakes up and looks around with panic in her eyes. Kyle takes her hand and looks into her eyes, "Hey. You're okay, I'm okay, Jenny's okay...and mom and dad are okay. Okay?" She nods and hugs him. "Plus, you've got your weapons." He hands her the toolbelt. Cara smiles. Kyle turns toward his parents. His mother's eyes have dark circles around them and she looks as if she just fought a year long battle...and lost. Barry's beard is absolutely filthy, it looks like it's been dipped in salsa. "Dad...you ate that entire jar?" Barry stands and about twenty tortilla chips fall out of his lap, "I'm a nervous eater." he says while trying to hide the now empty jar of salsa. Lisa looks at him with disgust, "Get it together. I don't know who the hell lives here, but maybe these people will be willing to help us. Help me gather the supplies." Kyle sighs, "What, stay here with these people and get them killed too? What the hell was that thing mom? Who was it? What did you do?" Jennifer comes out of the bedroom. "Kyle stop. She didn't do anything...none of us did. Although hiding out is pointless." Lisa storms over to Jennifer. "Stop it. Stop it right the hell now. Don't fucking say it!" Jennifer goes to her room to gather her things. "You're scaring Cara, honey." Barry takes his daughter's hand. "It's okay daddy. I can protect us." the small child says while whipping out her egg beater. "They don't call it a beater for nothin'." she beams. Kyle frowns, "What the hell was that? Why are you pissed at Jenn? Why won't you tell me what is going on?" Just then, they feel a small rattle. "It's coming." Lisa whispers. "We gotta go now! Grab the weapons, Bare!" Barry nods and gathers his tools. "Cara, hold your brother's hand and run! Let's go!" Everyone grabs their bags and they bolt out the door.

The tall white home is covered in splotches of paint. It is literally right in the middle of the desert. There is absolutely nothing else in the area. The home is huge and there appear to be large circular pillars in the backyard. The Matherson family runs up the front porch steps. Lisa bangs on the door. "This place is enormous...they have to let us in," she whispers. They wait for what seems like an eternity until a woman with mousy brown hair opens the door slightly, "Hello?" Lisa charges toward the woman who slams the door in her face. "Hey! Hey, mam...err, lady! Please let us in! Please." The small woman looks through a peephole in the door, "I can't. I'm sorry...but we don't let in wanderers. We never, ever let them in. I am sorry." she closes the tiny door. "Wait, please!" Lisa sighs, "This...this isn't happening. Oh my God, help us! We will die out here!!" Jennifer grabs her mother's arm, "Hey, mom it'll be okay. Mom, please stop." Lisa pulls away from her and yells, "My children will die! I have a five year old baby with me!" Cara rolls her eyes, "I'm not a baby." After a few minutes another woman opens the door, "Hello. You can come around to the back porch." she shuts the door and unlocks a gate on the side of the house. "Come on!" Cara runs toward the gate. The rest of the family follows. They go through the gate and enter the backyard. "Holy shit..." Cara exclaims. "Cara! Watch your mouth." Lisa hisses. "Well Jenny once told me I could curse during the end times."

"Oh I did not!"Jenn exclaims.

"I don't care. Knock it off." Lisa glares at both of them

The backyard is rather large and tall white pillars surround the entire area. There is a small pool to the right of the yard. The woman with mousy brown hair opens the backdoor, "You can stay out here. There's a bed there, on this porch." She points to a long cot with several mattresses on it and closes the door. "Well, there's an awning." Jenn shrugs. Everyone glares at her. "I'm going to put my dress on..." she announces before disappearing behind a bush. "This is so odd." Lisa whispers. Barry sits on the cot, he looks defeated, yet somewhat hopeful. Lisa was usually the strong one, nothing seemed to phase her...but she looked absolutely terrified as she looked up into the night sky. "You can see the stars out here. It's beautiful." Her eyes glistened with what looked like tears. Kyle didn't know what to do. He felt as if his whole world was falling apart. Barry put his hand on his wife's back and turned toward her, "It'll be okay. We'll be fine. These people are scared...they don't know us. But maybe they'll let us in once they've seen that we won't cause them any trouble." Lisa turns to look at him, "Hiding won't save us. We have to run. Hiding will not save our lives. That house might provide shelter, but it will not provide protection. I have to protect my family." Lisa stands and grabs the weapons. "We'll take turns...patrolling. We will each cover a section of this yard." Kyle shakes his head. "Mom, I don't think that we can fight...whatever the hell this thing is. Can we even see it?" Lisa looks at her son with a look of pity on her face, "I'm so sorry. I am so sorry that I've kept you in the dark about this for so long. You don't know what you're talking about." Kyle watches as his mother disappears into the darkness with a crossbow his father made out of wood. He almost wants to laugh at how ridiculous this all seems. Part of him hopes that this is all just one big hallucination. Jennifer suddenly emerges from behind a bush donning a long, white evening gown. She had bronchitis during her prom and wasn't able to go, and has been trying to find an excuse to wear the dress ever since. "I'm ready for my closeup." she states flatly. Cara smiles. Thirty minutes later Barry is reading a newspaper he found lying around on the grass, Jennifer and Cara are holding hands and singing songs quietly together, Lisa is still "patrolling" and Kyle is staring at the stars. As he's thinking about life and wondering if it will flash before his eyes when and if this thing slaughters them, he hears the backdoor open. A woman with a brown bob enters the yard, cradling a sickly looking cat in her arms. The cat meows weakly and then coughs up a bloody hairball. Jennifer winces and feels as if she is going to vomit. The woman speaks, "I have spoken with Mildred. She has agreed to let you people into the home. Please, do come in." Jennifer shakes her head, "No way." Cara whispers, "I'm cold." in her ear. Barry walks over to his eldest daughter, "It'll be fine Jenn. These people have kind to us so far...they were just taking the necessary precautions." Jennifer looks at the woman suspiciously. Lisa returns to the group. She tells them that the area seems to be secure. "Leese, these kind people have welcomed us into their home." Lisa doesn't speak. She moves like a robot as she takes her youngest child's hand and leads her into the house. Barry follows. Kyle and Jennifer don't move a muscle. Barry shakes his head, "Guys, come on. It's okay." Kyle approaches his father, "I want to stay out here and just...look at the stars. We'll be in later." Jennifer nods. Barry sighs and enters the home. The woman with the bob introduces herself, "My name is Midra. If you kids change your mind, just knock." The woman is wearing a long, tattered, purple dress. She seems...odd, but nice enough. She enters the home and closes the door behind her. "It's not that I'm afraid of those people I just...I'm not in the mood to interact with strangers." Jennifer says before sitting on a large rock near the pool. Kyle nods, "I understand. I get it, I do. What was up with mom by the way? I'm shocked that she just...walked right in." Jennifer sighs, "I'm not sure if she's even in there. This whole thing has kind of...broken her. She's usually so strong I- I don't know what we're going to do." Kyle lies down on the grass and looks up at the sky. "You really can see the stars out here. It's gorgeous." Jennifer lies down next to him, her long white dress will probably end up covered with grass stains. She could care less. Jennifer begins to sing Mazzy Star's Blue Light quietly. Her mother used to sing it to her when she was a baby. Kyle feels at peace as he listens to the sound of his sister's voice while looking up at the night sky. He feels as if he is getting lost in the stars. "I truly am one with the universe." he thinks to himself. "If this...thing does wipe us out, at least my last moments on Earth will be spent like this." Jennifer turns to him and smiles, "I'm not scared. Isn't that weird? Something must be wrong with me." she laughs. "Neither am I. Maybe something is wrong with us...but maybe it's wrong from the wrong perspective." Kyle says as he takes his sister's hand. She rolls her eyes, "You're such a weird kid. But that actually made total sense to me. Yep, the world is definitely going to end."

"I doubt 'The Beast' will take out the whole world." Kyle says, sounding rather sure of himself.

"Yeah, but if he destroys us, he destroys our worlds. We all create our own. If he kills our family, that's five worlds...destroyed." Jennifer sighs.

"You've totally destroyed that dress." Kyle smirks.

"Yeah? Well you-"

Jennifer is interrupted as an axe comes flying toward her and her brother, it lands right between their heads. They both sit up and quickly turn around. A man dressed entirely in black is wielding what appears to be a battle axe. He swings again, Jennifer grabs a small rock near her right foot and hurls it at the man's forehead, hitting him right between the eyes. He's taken aback. Kyle grabs her hand and they both run, but the man grabs hold of Jennifer's long ponytail. "Kyle!" she screams just as Barry bursts through the backdoor, "It's here! It's-" another man, almost identical to the one attacking his daughter, hits Barry right in the back with his axe. "Daddy!" Jennifer screams, tears rolling down her face. Kyle runs to tackle the man who has a hold of his sister, only to be kicked back down immediately. Fueled by adrenaline, Jennifer kicks the man in the groin, sending him flying into one of the stone pillars that surround the yard. The pillar cracks, and begins to topple over. Jennifer stares in disbelief, she couldn't have kicked him that hard. The pool begins to cave in. Jennifer scrambles over to Kyle and they both watch as the white victorian home sinks into nothingness. The pool and half the yard falls into what appears to be a black abyss. Kyle and Jennifer hold each other. They watch as everything around them slowly slips into the black pit. Jennifer turns to Kyle and looks him right in the eyes, "I told them we couldn't hide from it!" she yells. "But they wouldn't listen!" Kyle shakes his head. "Hide from what!?" he asks. "Evil!" Jennifer screams back as they descend into darkness.

Disclaimer: This story is named after a song that to me, is about the desire to fight against "evil" when in reality...that is impossible. If you spend your whole life trying to defeat "evil" or trying to hide from it, you will eventually be swallowed whole.
imaginative 3 / 5  
Mar 25, 2013   #2
oh man what is that? essay or book?
chessman567 5 / 170 11  
Mar 25, 2013   #3
Yes, I read the whole thing. But I didn't get the ending at all. It is a very epic story; I just kept on reading because it was so exciting. That was awesome; you should publish it in a newspaper or apply for a scholarship!

But do they die in the end? Everything is very ambiguous and I would suggest you make it a bit clearer.
OP skipperdee 1 / 2  
Mar 25, 2013   #4
Thanks! And I agree with you, about the ending. I should definitely go into more depth on what actually happens to them. They do die...well, maybe. In my dream, the cement surrounding the pool cracked and everything just fell into a black pit. Nothing was under the pool...no foundation or anything. At the end of my dream everything kind of panned out and all I could see were the circular pillars floating in what looked like a sea of darkness, almost like the house was in space without any stars or planets or comets...etc. I might include the part about the pillars being the only thing standing. I should also work on symbolism. Why are the pillars the only thing standing? Maybe I'm relying too much on this dream...and did it sound like one big stream of consciousness to you? I had someone tell me that recently. She thought it sounded too conversational. Although I kind of like that. My writing just isn't formal at all, really.
chessman567 5 / 170 11  
Mar 25, 2013   #5
No problems. There are some grammar mistakes that I will point out below, but I like the informal tone. It is very unique. Try to add more symbolism, yes. You could try Greek or allude to some books. Did you read Dante's Inferno? Perhaps add some phrases and metaphorical phrases that relate to his book. Definitely do some research on it; it's about the 9 levels of hell. VERY, VERY FAMOUS BOOK. Also, make your writing more sophisticated that way and make sure to add a lot of allusions. I can tell that you have some real meaning behind this- ie. the AWESOME disclaimer. I really liked that and your words actually made me jump out of my seat when I was reading the part when the beast started to attack them. I even squealed; I know I'm immature :) I'm only 13.

Did you have a real dream? I didn't feel at all really that this was part of a dream; I thought it was just an ordinary story. I dunno.

Kyle Matherson is on the run with his family. He isn't quite sure as to what they are running from, but he knows that it has to be something pretty damn terrifying to scare the ever living shit out of his mother.

They've (NO CONTRACTIONS) been stranded in the same spot ever since. Kyle can hear his parents talking.

Also, try not to use short, choppy sentences.

Thanks for liking my posts. I really need it in order to delete a few of my threads.

If you need anything else, just tell me :)
OP skipperdee 1 / 2  
Mar 25, 2013   #6
Thank you! I'll definitely read Dante's Inferno, I've been meaning to for a while now. And yeah I had a dream that was similar to this, it's what inspired me to write this story. It was kind of scary haha...and really cinematic. Ugh I wish I could record my dreams. Thanks again for the feedback.


Home / Undergraduate / Set Your Arms Down; NYU Dramatic Writing Portfolio
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳