I'm all set to commence my day with God! ; Calvin College -Christian learning Env

TOPIC: Calvin College seeks students who will thrive in the academic, spiritual and community life at Calvin. With this in mind, how do you see yourself contributing to the Christian learning environment at Calvin? (5000 characters)

It's just 4:00 am on a Saturday and I'm all set to commence my day with God. The siren blares to augur time in His presence; a solitary time for me to commune with the Lord at the Chapel. Affixed to this 'package' is the co-operative onus to serve my school as its Students' Representative Council General Secretary - always on the move to to make my school a better place.Flourishing in my staunch Christian training, I try to impact society in a noteworthy idiom. "Ten plus two is twelve" - This re-vibes in mind as I recall some days of teaching. My experience as a home-based tutor of some needy Grade-4 pupils has advanced my inclination to the simplicity of concepts to human beings, the mystery of understanding and the preparation to serve humanity on any large platform. My curiosity and apt problem-solving skills gained from my leadership experiences may be that striking difference on the Calvin campus as I work together with other students to challenge ourselves to discover the world from the Christian perspective. That synergy of teamwork, excellence and dedication to society I will bring on board the Class of 2017 will mark that flourish on the Calvin campus. Possessing such tenets of worthy principles, I'm convinced that God has prepared my heart such that I may serve. I pray the heart of Calvin does not miss a beat to meet me!

I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR EARNEST CRITICS AND POSSIBLE IMPROVEMENTS TO THIS ESSAY.

I feel that although you have answered the prompt, you tend to sound a bit proud.
Maybe instead of talking about how diigent and hard working you are, add more of your personal traits, because I'm sure the college would love to know you more as a person.

For example, "That synergy of teamwork, excellence and dedication to society I will bring on board the Class of 2017 will mark that flourish on the Calvin campus. "

sounds as if you are saying you are going to bring light to Calvin University, and makes it sound as if your telling Calvin that its not good enough... If you know what I mean haha

Just my thought :)