Here's my short answer to the Stanford supplement prompt:
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.
Any commentary would be appreciated!
Dear Future Roommate,
Ever had a flooded dorm? Or a dorm filled with poisonous gas? My first two dorm experiences at summer camps were excellent, except for the flooding of our downstairs lounge the first year, and somebody blowing up a fire extinguisher the next. I considered myself prepared for any dorm related incident after that.
But I never really thought about what I would say to a future roommate. It sort of surprises me because I usually overthink everything, down to the last detail. Considering it now, it's sort of like the first of high school. You don't know anybody, but you hope your classes are full of smart, funny, and nice people. When you sit down in your seat, you look at your neighbors, making quick judgments of their personalities. Maybe if you sat down next to me, you might think I was an introvert. I mean, I did avoid eye contact, I didn't say anything except a short "Hi" when you said "Hello." Maybe I'm just shy. But let me assure you, I'm very talkative. I'll provide commentary on almost anything, pointing out the ironies of situations or sarcastically commenting on something I saw. I love anything that has to do with science; computers, chemistry, particle physics, and I'll talk your ear off. (But only if you want me to.)
So Mr. Future Roommate, as long as you don't set off a fire extinguisher or (somehow) flood our dorm, I'll be happy to have you as a roommate.
Just a few nit-picky things.
But I [have or I've] never really thought about what I would say to a future roommate. It sort of surprises me because I usually overthink everything [comma seems unnecessary here] down to the last detail. Considering it now, it's sort of like the first [day] of high school. You don't know anybody, but you hope your classes are full of smart, funny, and nice people. When you sit down in your seat, you look at your neighbors, making quick judgments of their personalities. Maybe if you sat down next to me, you might thinkhave thought (stick with one tense) I was an introvert. I mean, I did avoid eye contact, I didn't say anything except a short "Hi" when you said "Hello." Maybe I'm just shy. But let me assure you, I'm very talkative. I'll provide commentary on almost anything, pointing out the ironies of situations or sarcastically commenting on something I saw. I love anything that has to do with science; computers, chemistry, particle physics, and I'll talk your ear off. (But only if you want me to.)
Good essay, I really liked it and it made me laugh! :)
I really like it as well, nice job!
Just one comment:
"So Mr. Future Roommate, as long as you don't set off a fire extinguisher or (somehow) flood our dorm, I'll be happy to have you as a roommate ."
Maybe change this second "roommate" to a synonym (bunkmate, etc.). Having the word twice in one sentence sounds a little off to me. You could even just change it to " I'll be happy to live with you."
Hmm...
Ok, yea I see what you're saying. Although saying "I'll be happy to live with you" is a little weird. It seems like a relationship type thing to say. Or maybe I'm just being overly analytic?
Maybe use "roomie" instead? Or is slang bad?
ok, ur original point makes you seem adventurous and troublesome, while your main body paragraph makes you seem shy and awkward. I no that your trying to include a lot about yourself but the question specifically says tell us "something." I think they want u to focus on one specific thing about yourself that a roommate should no. If u are talkative/sarcastic then just focus on that. Pick the one thing that you mentioned that you could talk about for 250 words and go with it.
-hope this helps, peace/good luck
