A shadow of corruption followed me every single day - Academic Challenge

This is my first post so I don't know what to expect. So please bare with me.

Topic: Describe a recent academic challenge you have faced. Overcoming afflictions and not letting things control me has always been a constant and perpetual motive throughout my life. The thought of having the freedom to accomplish anything that I put heart, time, and energy in is what makes me proud of the person that I have become today. The journey to conquer what restricts me defines my ambitions and goals. I not only embrace my past but I also thrive in my present and dream about the future.

Freshman year of high school was both a blessing and a curse. I was ecstatic that I was finally in high school! At that moment in time I thought I had my entire future in the palms if my hands, however a certain darkness was about to take hold of my life. Bullying was an idea that never crossed my mind. I soon became aware of its true nature in my science class. Everyday, there was one person who always seemed to mock me everytime I would make some sort of contribution to the class. He belittled me every chance that he got, either by shoving me when ever he walked pass me or taunting my every move that I made. Never have experiencing this blind hatred towards me, I spiraled into a complete depression. I loathed to go to school every single day because I never knew what kind of agony I was about to go through. Its funny how only one person can cause your life to come to complete stand still.

A shadow of corruption followed me every single day. Wherever I went, it was there binding me of the exquisite feature life had to acclaim. I cried myself to sleep every night only having to relive my nightmare the next day. Experiencing this hate and cruelty has caused my self esteem to take a turn for the worst. My friendships became strained, I became underweight, I became diffident to everything around me. Most importantly, I no longer cared about my education. One night while sulking in my room, I decided I no longer wanted to live in darkness, so I decided to end everything. I grabbed the gallon of chlorine with the plan ingesting it. Once I unscrewed the cap, my nose immediately picked up the pungent odor. I became shaky just by the thought of what was about to happen. I closed my eyes and took in a mouthful of the chlorine. I instantly tasted the acrid tang of the colorless liquid. At that moment, something finally clicked in my head. The realization of what I was doing finally became a reality and deep down I knew what I was doing was wrong. At once, I spat out my impending mistake. This moment altered everything. I decided to take every piece of pain and suffering and use it to motivate myself.

With a strong change of mind and hope in sight the real journey embarked. Overcoming my depression has taught me to build my own path through life and has provided me with the confidence and motivation to achieve my goals. Now that I have the mindset to make my life the best it can be, my academics picked up. It is worth it to put in work towards achieving my own goal of becoming a doctor someday. It's bizarre to think that bright future would be impossible without a dark past. My past has given me motivation to strive for perfection in my present, in order to make something out of my life in the future.

This is all good, but I feel this part does not contribute much for your answer to academic challenge you face recently. In my view, you better deal with that question direct . It helps you with your word count too, if there's word count restriction.

Thanks for the advice dumi!
Also I need help with punctuation, grammar, and better ways to something in my essay
Thanks! :D
Also this essay is for a scholarship that I am applying for, so I need all the help I can get

Can someone please help me. I mostly need help on checking my punctuation and making sure everything sounds grammatically correct. I could use all the help I can get.