Please be harsh!!
1.If I could do something w/o the risk of failing, I would...
Only apply to Brown.Brown is my dream school; it has a myriad of tools that'll help me help the world. Also, I wouldn't have to spend my whole savings account on college-application-related fees.
2.What is something you created that makes you especially proud, and why?
I set up an organic food stand at an International Festival.This made me especially proud because I was able to share my fervent passion about natural foods and simultaneously promote the importance of a proper diet. Many people visited the stand with the predisposed notion that organic food is strange and not as pleasant tasting as its "conventional" counterpart. I was able to watch people's facial expressions, and consequently their opinions, radically transform from skepticism to enlightenment as they sampled free-range chicken strips and organic pasta. People left my stand with the realization that food can be healthy and tasty, helping me fulfill my goal of improving community health.
3.We all exist within communities or groups of various sizes, origins, and purposes; pick one and tell us why it is important to you, and how it has shaped you.
My friends and I have created a "Green Team" in hopes of radiating our love of "Terra Mater" throughout our school. Our first accomplishment was installing recycling bins in every classroom. We have to empty the bins twice a week, and we've transformed this boring chore into a time for the Team to brainstorm new "green" ideas. This allows our creativity to bloom, flooding our minds with revolutionary propositions. It was during this time that we decided to have a fundraiser for a forest preservation organization; it was also during this time that we decided to create a stand where passing students could sample bottled waters and tap water. Most of the school then ditched bottled water in favor of reusable water bottles! Successes like these have helped me intertwine my passion for the "organic lifestyle" with similar earth-friendly passions of others who also strive to simultaneously better the community and the planet. The Team has shaped me by helping me shape the lives of others.
4.C. Compare your life to a roller coaster. Shiekra, the nation's first roller coaster to have a 90 degree drop, is highly overrated; it represents a lifestyle I shun. Before its first drop, riders are suspended 200 feet above land for 6 seconds. The high altitude permits riders to view the entire Tampa area; the bustling downtown with its majestic buildings, the architecturally grandiose highways, and the lush urban forests make for jaw-dropping scenery. However, riders always forsake taking pleasure in their ethereal surroundings in favor of staring at the frightening upcoming drop, and soon the ride is over. But what's the purpose of this? What quality of life can be achieved if one solely focuses on the upcoming unavoidable "downfalls" of life instead of enjoying the beauties of the journey through it? My mom is a very sickly woman; if I were to focus on her unavoidable sick days looming in the horizon, I'd live a tempestuous life. Montu, however, epitomizes my life. It doesn't have a specific amount of defining events, like Shiekra's two 90 degree drops; its astounding beauty lies in the finished product as a whole. Its small loops represent those simple moments of pleasure that warm the soul, and though drops sometimes immediately precede them, one is so entrenched in enjoying loops that drops solely serve as a reminder of how blessed one is to have loops. As I write this, I resemble Montu as I rejoice with my mom about our Peruvian Christmas tradition of opening gifts at midnight. We have placed her recently diagnosed metaplasia (in layman's terms, precancerous cells) at the back of our minds for now, for I'd rather rejoice in loops than ponder upcoming steep drops. Montu's drops precede turns because negative circumstances serve to guide one to one's correct path; which explains how my mom's battle with illnesses has inspired my pursuit of a health career. Elements like these combine to make a perfect rollercoaster, and my imperfect, but beautiful life.
I completely agree with Lishan. I think that the admissions officers know that you want to go to brown and that saying it in a question that is meant to show off your personality isn't helping your cause.
Otherwise, I was really intrigued by the second and fourth essays.
In the third essay you start two sentences with "It was during this time..." I think you can spice it up a little more, but I think that what you did with the Green Team is truly amazing.
