Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
My mother likes to tell people: "I remember when she was little she wanted to become a teacher of the Bashkir language", and then she laughs about it. I used to laugh about it too - Bashkir is a local language in the republic I live in, and everyone is required to learn it through 11 years of school, while the official language of the education process is still Russian. However, recently, I discovered that this is where my passion for languages began, and it hasn't stopped growing since.
As the years wore on, I was given more opportunities and more support in fostering my love of languages. When I was 9, my grandmother gifted me a kids German learning book, and my brother showed me a computer game about German. However, in 5th grade I was among the only five students in my class who wanted to learn this unique tongue, so it was decided that everyone will be studying English instead. I became the first person in my family to learn this language. From the beginning, learning English has sparked my interest. It was fascinating for me how I could say the same phrase in completely different words - in a language that was not familiar to me just recently. My teachers noticed my interest so very soon I started participating in English olympiads, research projects and various language contests.
My eagerness for learning continued. By 9th grade I was also learning French, Spanish, and Italian. I studied on my own, searching for language learning resources on the internet. As I matured, I began developing a schedule and setting goals for each language, and continued to fall in love with the world's ways of communication.
In 10th grade I decided to participate in the FLEX program and got chosen to study in the United States for a year. Since the education system in Russia is very different, this year would not count for my Russian diploma. I had to repeat my senior year when I came back but I believe that I made the most beneficial decision. I decided to spend my exchange year on self-development and exploring a new culture, and use all the available opportunities.
My school days were exciting but demanding. At Public Speaking I had to step out of my comfort zone every day and perform in front of unfamiliar people, speaking the language that is not my mother tongue. Right after I had a Spanish class, and then - French. Never having taken a school French class before, I found it challenging at first to be in an advanced placement class. However, I caught up very quickly and soon I found myself easily reading French literature and using complex grammar.
In the second semester, I found out about free Rosetta Stone classes offered in school so I decided to take two new languages while I have this exciting opportunity. I took up Italian and Swedish. While Italian was already familiar to me, I faced difficulties with Swedish since I had never learned any North Germanic languages. However, it became rather thought-provoking for me than frustrating.
Last year has also opened my eyes on my career goals. Observing the ESOL teachers' work in American schools and having experience of teaching English and Russian as a second language, I realized that this is exactly what I want to do in life. I want to help the kids I used to be - new to another country, unacquainted with its traditions and having troubles with the language. I want to teach languages and share cultures. I want to give people the opportunity that I had - learn to understand the mentality of people at the other end of the world through learning their language.
... "I remember when she was little sheand wanted to become a teacher of the Bashkir language" ...
... while the official language of the education processsystem is still Russian.
When I was 9, my grandmother gave megifted me a kids German learning book ...
However,in 5th grade, our class had to choose ... I was among the only five students in my class who wanted to learn this unique language , so it was decided that everyone will be studying English instead ...
... English has sparked my interest in the study of foreign languages.It was fascinating for me how I could say the same phrase in completely different wordsThis sounds weak, I'd say strntghen your word choice, this is a suggestion on how you can change this sentence:"To me, it was truly fascinating to find out I could play with words and alter them while still meaning to say the same phrase." - in a language that was not familiar to me just recently. My teachers noticed my interest, and soon , so very soon I started participating in English ...
... spend my exchange year on self-development while exploring a new culture,in that wayand use all the available opportunities.
... perform in front of unfamiliar people, speaking a language that is not my mother tongue. Right after I had a Spanish class, and then - French.
I took upwent for Italian and Swedish.
... work in American schools and having the experience of teaching English ...
I want to help thekidschildren that I used to be like - new to another country...
Moreover, I want to give people the opportunity that I had - learn to understand the mentalitydifferent mindsets of people at the other end of the world. Learning their language is the first step . through learning their language.
*** Nice, I can see youve displayed all of your achievements and talked about your interest, go over the grammar and a few suggestions I pointed out.****
Polina, after reading your essay, I would like to comment first on the way it is written.
I suggest that you merge a few paragraphs and keep it into about four main paragraphs,
this way it will look more polished and formal.
Next, you have a suggestive remark from one of the EF contributors, I hope you will follow through,
this will definitely strengthen your essay and will make it more interesting.
Lastly, double check on the flow or the structure of the ideas in your essay, create a smooth logical order
and revise your essay accordingly.
For further writing reference, mind the words that you use in your essay, make sure that they
properly curate the idea that you have in mind and transcend in your essay.
I hope my insights helped and let us know when you need further assistance.
