CULTURE OF NEPAL
My homeland "Nepal" is a small landlocked central Himalayan country in South Asia. What it might lack in sheer size, it makes ups in vast cultural and traditional diversity which has evolved over the centuries. Though I might not possibly be able to share all my cultural experiences, there might be one specific tradition that sums up all my festive feelings that I can share with the Colgate Community.
"Bhai Tika" is a rich cultural festival that is celebrated during late October every year. On the day of the festival, sisters invite their brothers for a sumptuous meal. The whole ceremony signifies the duty of a brother to protect his sister, as well as a sister's blessings for her brother. On this day, sisters pray to Yamraj "God of Death" for her brother's long life and prosperity. Sisters put seven coloreds long Tika on the forehead of their brothers.
It might initially seem that it is limited to brothers and sisters, but over the years this practice has grown to symbolize love, that brings a community closer. Strangers without siblings gather in a place and celebrate this culture with same festivity and in the end, they gain a meaningful relation that remains for life.
This simple festival brings a community closer and spreads the feeling of brotherhood. During my four-year journey in Colgate, I enthusiastically look forward to sharing this culture and bringing the Colgate community closer.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,830 
4781 Diwakar, you have 250 words allotted for this essay because you are not only supposed to narrate what the festival is about, you are also supposed to discuss your personal participation in the event. What do you enjoy about it ? Why is this event a learning experience for you? Why do you believe that this is the sort of festival that can help spread diversity and unity among the students of Colgate? You don't need a short response in this instance, you need an expanded response that fully describes the event and its relationship to your local culture, development of friendships, and how it promotes camaraderie among the participants. The aim of this essay is for the reviewer to better understand the world that you come from and how it has shaped you to become a decent, responsible, and open minded individual. Use the full 250 words for this presentation by describing how it brings you closer to your family and community and how it brings the community together as a whole. Your narration is very cut and dried and doesn't really present an involved participation on your part. Make it more inclusive. Use the event to describe who you are or how it helped you become the person you are today.
@Holt
I've change my approach and ended up with a whole new essay , please do read it and suggest me which portion I should emphasize more since I do still have 30 words to play around with .
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From a small-landlocked country full of rich cultural and ethnical diversity, "Nepal", I might not be able to share all my cultural experiences, but there is one specific tradition that sums up all my festive feeling that I would like to share with the Colgate Community.
Being the only "brother", in a large joint family with over 16 other siblings, "Bhai Tika" might just be the festival I look forward to the most. Celebrated during late October, this one specific occasion brings my entire family together every year, celebrating the warm and tender relationship between brothers and sisters. A scrumptious meal, Saptarangi (Seven-Colored) Tikas on the forehead, followed by gifts from brothers to their sisters, the whole ceremony revolves around affection and love.
Though this joyous occasion might seem limited within the family, over the years this tradition has grown to become a practice that brings a community closer. On the day of Bhai-Tika, even strangers without siblings gather in a common place and celebrate this event with same festivity ultimately bringing diverse communities together with the feeling of fraternity and love.
This simple festival brings a community closer, spreads the feeling of camaraderie and represents diversity of life. During my four-year journey in Colgate, I enthusiastically look forward to sharing this unique experience and bringing the Colgate community closer.
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P.S (The deadline is day-after tommorow so I would like to make it as good as possible)
