Sharps and Flats (commonapp essay)
Rays of the early morning sun peep into my room. They fall on my face, and I wake up. I make my way to the living room on tiptoes, careful to preserve the tranquil silence. And there it is, perched on top of a wooden platform, the sunbeams reflecting elegantly from its burnished skin, a giant, mahogany oak structure. My piano.
I lift the covering and out come the keys, black and white. Time stands still as I gaze at them, mesmerized by the way they coexist with each other, in a fraternity. And then I start playing.
The melody of Chopin's Nocturne pierces through the thick silence. Surrounded by the cacophony of musical notes, I become separated from the physical world. My emotions start going wild as I feel energy pulsating through every artery, every vein and every capillary. I am overwhelmed by a force I cannot see and I am rising. I am soaring high.
I fall. The world comes back into focus and the melody stops. What had happened? I looked down on the keyboard and saw my index finger on a black key, a sharp.
A flat was the correct note to be played.
For as long as I can remember, the janus faced nature of the black keys had always confused me. C sharp is the same key as the D flat. D sharp is the same note as E flat. C does not have a flat, E a sharp, while D has both. Key signatures never made sense to me; that is, until I grew older.
According to history, when Bartolomeo Cristofori first created the pianoforte, he called it a "harpsichord with loudness and softness". It was given qualities that none of its parents, the dulcimer or the clavichord, possessed. It was made for perfection.
It is strangely human, the piano. The black keys, how they sound so similar and yet produce tunes so different. How the same key can produce two different meanings and how the same meaning can be found from two different keys. How the piano sounds different, unique, each time I attempt to play it.
Countless are the number of times I have played a wrong note, produced a wrong melody and heard a wrong sound. Wrong sharps and wrong flats have appeared numerous times in the staccatos of my life. I have often sat in silence, looking down on the keys, frustrated by my inability to get them right.
But I practiced.
I got better.
I became good.
I became very good.
I became excellent.
There is a lesson I have learned over my years as a pianist. There are more white keys than black ones. More normals than sharps or flats. And all it takes to hit the right keys, is to play the wrong ones, and learn from it.
I take a shot at Nocturne once more. This time, there are no mistakes. No wrong sharps, no inappropriate flats. The melody is untainted, smooth and mellifluous.
I had done it.
please leave comments...and be real harsh!!!
Be harsh?
I love this .. I think its perfect!
But from my post before u can see that i really suck, So you should take advice of someone else too.. But this is great!
[You write so well, If you could give a quick read through my post and give me a few pointers please?]
Just to keep the music bit of your essay going
"More normals than sharps or flats." --> "More 'naturals' than sharps or flats?"
But it is really good. The whole theme remains in the essay.
But what's the prompt. I mean it could be good like that but if it doesn't fit the prompt it might not work out too.
"And all it takes to hit the right keys, is to play the wrong ones, and learn from THEM."
thanks a lot dude
can't believe i wrote normal...must've missed it
prompt- topic of your own choice...i think it'll fit
oh i see haha then it'll flow in really well! :) great job!
Wow, perfect. So, I guess you realize that writing is music, too. The principles remain the same. Now, would it be possible to somehow mention your career or college aspirations within this powerful essay? If you incorporate mention of your specific ambitions for college, you will have to mention it both at the beginning and at the end. Just an idea.
:)
I am overwhelmed by a force I cannot see, and I am rising. I am soaring high.
I fall. The world comes back into focus, and the melody stops. What had happened? I looked down on the keyboard and saw my index finger on a black key, a sharp.
How the same key can produce two different meanings and how the same meaning can be found from two different keys? How the piano sounds different, unique, each time I attempt to play it?
Great job! Loved the essay! Like Kevin suggested, I would tie in this experience into your career path or major into the essay.
thank you for all your help
Very well-written. The only criticism I can see is that you tend to switch tenses a bit more than is called for. Sometimes you have to, as when you move from recounting your anecdote in the immediate present to relating historical events in the past. But at other times, it seems a bit jarring.
For instance, at the end of the essay, you write:
"I take a shot at Nocturne once more. This time, there are no mistakes. No wrong sharps, no inappropriate flats. The melody is untainted, smooth and mellifluous.
I had done it."
But if you are going to switch back into the immediate present to bookend your essay with it, you probably don't want the last line to revert back to the past tense. Perhaps you could omit that sentence altogether, and just end with the smooth melody? Or maybe you could just stick to the past tense throughout the ending?
well, here is a few suggestions, not the best but its all I got.
If there is a lesson I have learned over my years as a pianist, it is that are more white keys than black ones. More naturals than sharps or flats. And all it takes to hit the right keys, is to play the wrong ones, and learn from it. The best way to learn is through making mistakes. You get up from where you fell and you continue on.
usually i would change some parts of the ending but i fine this one perfect. Short and sweet.
and by the way you are a pretty good writer. i learn the piano as well, but i seemed to have taken one fall too many and took a short/ long break :)
