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"I shop!" - MIT -Tell us something you do for the pleasure of it.


leviator 7 / 39  
Dec 30, 2011   #1
I shop! The smell of new clothes and shoes, the thrill of a sale, the sound of the cashier-a shopping splurge is my weekly dosage of unadulterated happiness as, accompanied by my equally enthusiastic mother and sister, I embark on my therapeutic adventure. To me, fashion is not just about donning the latest 'trends'; it is a showcase of my character, interests and my little idiosyncrasies. And of course, the thought of looking good gives an ordinary science nerd like me a boost of self confidence. The nerdy behavior is evident in these little escapades, in application of combination theory to determine the number of ways of styling the outfits, my random lectures on the structure of nylon-6,6 and the dramatic shift my wardrobe makes from dark shades in winter to white tanks in the unendurable summers(more reflection=less absorption, obviously!). A trip to the mall is an exercise in economics, as my frugal mind tries to minimize the cost, and of course an exercise in itself, with the magnitude of Dubai malls tending to infinity. Shopping is truly a thought-provoking, character-defining, and family bonding experience, and one that I enjoy thoroughly.

Really need to cut down on the words, any suggestions/feedback?
muznaa23 4 / 15  
Dec 30, 2011   #2
my character, interests and my little idiosyncrasies.

insert my after interests to keep it parallel

my random lectures on the structure of nylon-6,6 and the dramatic shift my wardrobe makes from dark shades in winter to white tanks in the unendurable summers(more reflection=less absorption, obviously!).

phrase that differently, specifically "my random lectures" because its not a complete thought..there's not predicate to the sentence really (sorry for being all grammer nazi!)

Shopping is truly a thought-provoking, character-defining, and family bonding experience, and one that I enjoy thoroughly.

character-defining, family bonding experience that I thoroughly enjoy.

also, mention how it defines your character and such.. a little bit more details would be good!

can you please help me with my Duke supplement! :)
OP leviator 7 / 39  
Dec 30, 2011   #3
Thank you!
Any more suggestions on the content?
And on how I can cut it way shorter?
Protego - / 1  
Dec 31, 2011   #4
Excellent intro, just a little rectification could do well.

The justification "(more reflection = less absorption, obviously)" is unnecessary, just tones down the intensity. Rather, you could put it as more absorbent dark shades in winter to less absorbent white tanks in the unendurable summers.

How short does it need to be?
deremifri 9 / 137  
Dec 31, 2011   #5
Maybe the application of your nerdy language are not that necessary, since they are not what you do for pleasure.
Otherwise it's great.

Please look at my essay and tell me how you feel. Thank you.


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