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A sibling born - Questbridge- Significant experience, risk, or ethical dilemma

emy13 2 / 4  
Sep 4, 2012   #1
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. (500 word limit)

Until I was nearly thirteen years old, I was an only child. I remember easily occupying myself, often playing with toys in the corner of the room alone. Although I usually entertained myself, I never lacked attention; I received plenty of it from my parents and grandparents. At a young age, partially from lack of spending much time with other children, I learned how to hold long, adult-like conversations and how to handle complex situations in my life. I did very well in school, always getting A's and making new friends, and I even began taking piano in fourth grade.

Many things changed in the summer before middle school. My mom became pregnant with my sister, and I realized that I would soon be a big sister as well as the teenager of the family. Nothing could have prepared me for what that really meant. I understood the basic responsibilities I would soon be acquiring, as well as the privileges, but I did not understand the additional control and power I would gain over my life. After my sister was born, I was never ignored or forgotten, but I was expected, more than ever, to lead my own life and to become my own person.

For the first time in my life, I began waking myself up in the morning to catch the bus, choosing my own classes in school, picking out my own clothes at the store, participating in after-school clubs and activities, and scheduling time to see friends, all without that much help from my parents. I began to become extremely independent for the first time in my life, and took pride in taking care of important things before my parents could even ask to help.

Along with gaining independence, I also began to do things for myself instead of others. I continued doing well in school not because that was what was expected of me, but because that was the kind of person I wanted to be. I participated in clubs, activities, and volunteering because I enjoyed it, and I even felt a renewed interest in piano as I began working less towards the recitals and performances and more towards being proud of my own work.

Although most people have experienced an additional sibling born to their families, I feel that my sister, being born so late in my life, has strongly impacted the person I am today. My character and independence is still growing as I approach the end of my school career, but that year was the climax of my young life. It was the turning point between the end of my childhood and the beginning of the rest of my life. I have never felt more prepared for the future ahead of me.

I wasn't quite sure what to write about. Is this interesting enough or too dry? .... Also grammatical errors?
ellecc 4 / 12  
Sep 5, 2012   #2
Hi. I am an international student, so I can't help you with your grammatical errors.
I think that your point is made clear, and this is a very honest and genuine essay, however, I really think the topic is not aht intersting. I myself have a little brother, and I tried to write a similar essay as yours, yet, I later found out that this topic might not be that intriguing. Maybe you can find something more to write about yourself, something really unique about you, something attract AOs ! Good luck!

and hope you can take a look at my essay!
cmartin - / 1  
Sep 10, 2012   #3
I think this essay is too dry. You should make the your change before and after your sister born more impressive by including specific examples. The current description seems too general.
OP emy13 2 / 4  
Sep 11, 2012   #4
Thank you both :)
OP emy13 2 / 4  
Sep 11, 2012   #5
By the way... I also wrote another essay that I tried to make much more personal, which is a challenge for me because I have a hard time expressing myself, especially in writing.

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