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Undergraduate   Posts: 2


ameyajain07 1 / -  
Oct 14, 2018   #1
I moved from India two years ago, I played badminton seriously there and it was really close to me, coming here, there was not much badminton and this essay is about that, this is a rough draft and needs a lot of changes. I would really appreciate any help and suggestions.

The topic for my essay is actually a mixture of two, for common app essay you can write about anything you want, so I chose to write about 2 of their topic ---

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

playing badminton

Though badminton is like Sunday barbecue in America, to me it is like super bowl every time I am on the badminton courts. I started playing badminton when I twelve but and standing on the green courts with one foot ahead of the other, holding my hand up waiting for the birdie gave me the power and confidence nothing else gave. Badminton was my outside activity other than studies in which I had become one of the best in our school on my own. Every time I played, it inspired me to work harder not only in badminton but in other areas of my life too. The reputation and responsibility I had with badminton made me feel much more than an average student. Badminton gave me recognition, identity, network and the health I have today. It was the one thing I fought for, when I was in India we only had badminton two days a week but I wanted more and our school had stay back programs for sports and to get one for badminton I talked, followed up and requested to the director of our school for months, I didn't get a positive response from him in a couple months but my mom told me to keep following him and the start of the next year we had a new stay back program for badminton with a much better coach than the regular sports.

Going to tournaments and having to wait for 8 hours in the same building sometimes and I being able to do that showed me my value and my capabilities. Standing in front of my opponent with the pressure that he might play better than playing that game and winning it made me realize what I only had.

My brother also started playing badminton as he saw me. ( shows how badminton affected family relations too, not sure to include it or not....)

I didn't really realize these things until I moved to America. When moving to America, I didn't think that moving would make playing badminton harder. It was "the Asian sport" and only as gym class. From the thousands of activities and sports at Lexington High I hadn't tried anyone before, only badminton and it wasn't really there. There was one badminton club, MATTBC, in the nearby town Waltham, it was a little far. When I went to see the club it gave me the feeling and vibe I was looking for but for one year we didn't have a car, nor public transport went there on weekends, only the time I had because of drastically different studies and house chores. I thought of trying other things available easily like golf, soccer, volleyball but these were not at all the same as badminton, none of them made me feel the way badminton did. I even joined the scouts and went on went on a trek for the whole weekend, but it wasn't satisfying. I couldn't just leave something that I was so close to.

I went to MATTBC weekly when we bought a car and it made me feel really happy, I already knew those people without actually knowing them. There I met Stanley, who was also in Lexington High and in the same grade and he also came to MATTBC. He told me about an all Massachusetts badminton tournament asked me I would want to represent our school. It was an unofficial team, we didn't have any coach or anything. We made a group of players and went to the tournament on our own. We came second in that tournament and gave the trophy our school.

In our senior year, we have started a badminton club, for $50 a year we take students who want to learn badminton to MATTBC once a week. There are around 15 people who come every week and learn badminton.
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,660 1998  
Oct 16, 2018   #2
Ameya, don't use this essay. The common app prompts come with 2 specific and separate topics for discussion. Those are previously listed and should not be joined into one essay because each prompt has a specific set of requirements. You cannot join the two essay prompts into a new one. Rather, the common app, open topic essay is meant to address a topic that is not included in the common app listings. That is your opportunity to address something about you as a person, a student, a child or, it is the opportunity for you to inform the reviewer about something of importance to you that you feel will add value to your application. That is why you cannot combine the two prompts in order to create a new discussion.

If you want to address an obstacle you overcame, then write about that alone. If you want to address your background, then write about that. Nothing else. The two topics cannot be combined because they address 2 different yet specific issues about you as a person and student. It would be better if you can find an original prompt to use your essay with if you feel that you really want to use this. An essay which, by the way, isn't impressive at all in presentation nor information.

It is not impressive nor interesting because you cannot reconcile the two topics within your presentation. They contradict in terms of presentation. It does not work. Personally, I would like you to just choose a topic from the common app prompts so that all you have to do is further develop the relevant presentation from this existing essay. You already have the work done so just complete it.