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'every side of the fence' - NYU, What Intrigues you?


jadore_lamode68 6 / 37  
Dec 31, 2011   #1
Does this do its job?
Is it boring or conventional?
Any edits for grammar or style are greatly appreciated.

Prompt:What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

I have been on every side of the fence. Each facet of the picket has been intimately inspected, investigated, and scrutinized. My severely sympathetic nature has made me immune to walking solely in my own shoes. Instead my mind has fitted out each pair, feeling out the impressions and experiences that have contributed to each perspective-even once traveling to the rugged oxfords of a fiend wolf. Yes, the infamous wolf of The True Story of the Little Three Pigs! By A.Wolf. This newfangled version of traditional tale, paints the antagonist in a brighter light, creating the three pigs into several mischievously unbelievable characters rather than blamelessly fraught. I loved the book not only for its charming and vastly creative watercolors eschewing realism, but for its ability to give a say to the minority. The original tale, pinpointing all the blame on the wolf, left me unsettled. If we can all perform our actions with rationale, then in some sense they are justified. In the same vein, Smith's talent of voicing the wolf's transgressions was invigorating and echoed my own yearning to see that everyone has the opportunity to speak their mind, no matter how unpopular the opinion.

THANKS SOO MUCH!

iMapple94 1 / 3  
Dec 31, 2011   #2
This is an intriguing little essay
its definitely different which NYU apparently looks for a lot
the beginning catches the readers attention
overall its a good read
shayshay3194 5 / 9  
Dec 31, 2011   #3
I really like your response, I had to read it a couple of times just to find something to comment on!

You start out using the picket fence metaphor, but then you switch to the "walking in someone else's shoes" metaphor. It wasn't really distracting or anything, but maybe it would be better if you stuck to one or the other. Just a thought.

This newfangled version of the traditional tale (no comma) paints the antagonist in a brighter light, creating the three pigs into several mischievously unbelievable characters rather than blamelessly fraught.

I think those changes would improve the above sentence.

I hope this helped!


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