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single parent home - Proofread, suggestions-MSU Personal statement


MG4192 1 / 1  
Aug 26, 2009   #1
I don't have a first paragraph, and this is the first draft.

Describe the environment you come from - for example, your family, community, or school - and how this environment has affected or influenced your plans for the future.

Growing up in a single parent home has given me a certain perspective. I was taught at an early age that I have to work hard to achieve my goals. My mother worked hard to make sure my brother and I were always taken care of. As an educator she knows the importance of a proper education, and instills these principles in me. Having a strong support system in my life has given me the courage to vigorously pursue my goals. having a large family has taught me that making and sustaining connections is an important step in creating a future.The connections that I will build in college will last me for the rest of my life.

My school environment has been another significant factor in helping me move forward. Attending a public school has given me an opportunity to meet a diverse group of people, which has given me the skills need to survive the transition into college. As a child I thought that having a close group of friends was the best thing to do. When I got into high school I met other people who had different views, and it gave me a chance to evaluate my personal views. I was fortunate enough to have a good high school experience, and figure out exactly what I want to do in life. High school gave me the tools needed to enhance my thought process. I am positive that I will continue to sharpen those tools in college.

College is just the next step needed to secure my future. I feel confident that Michigan State University is the right institution to do so.

All suggestions are appreciated.
tal105 7 / 130  
Aug 26, 2009   #2
College is just the next step needed to secure my future. I feel confident that Michigan State University is the right institution to do so.

the prompt says to describe the enviroment you come from, which you do when you say single parent and diverse school. yet you dont answer the second part about affecting your plans for the future really well. you should expand more on that.

good luck!!!
OP MG4192 1 / 1  
Aug 26, 2009   #3
This is great advide,and exactly what I was looking for.
THANK YOU!


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