This essay is supplemental, I have already submitted the application and aim to add this as a new piece. I have already answered to Why Uchicago Essay but I felt like many parts were untouched .
Please review the essay and tell me if I should send this and If it well help my application, Thanks !
The Itch
Sinking Deep into the labyrinths of my mind lays an itch; unlike most of its colleagues, this itch does not back away even when distracted by pressing testosterone; bombard it with placebic lotions or scorch it with obsolete flamethrowers, it still has the nerve to eat other itches for breakfast with a hint of fava beans. It's the persistent itch to discover and learn, to experiment and investigate. Developed by reading a mélange of books, this itch has transformed into a voracious but worthy companion.
The University of Chicago will feed this itch, from discussion based classes in the challenging core curriculum to student-led lectures on quirky topics; I am enthralled and infatuated with the University of Chicago's emphasis on inquiry and reason. The challenging interdisciplinary classes will intellectually stimulate my mind and challenge me to persevere. The core curriculum's extensive grasp on arts and sciences will equip me with the skills necessary to become an engineer who works on educational software to connect and communicate with different unprivileged parts of the globe. Software development exhilarates me; it sets my pulses racing and ignites a fire in me. I am eager to learn more about the sophisticated world of software development and overcome challenges. At Uchicago, I will have the chance to explore different facets of technology,from taking classes on game construction to gaining critical skills through myriad internships and co-op opportunities or participating in abundant research prospects in campus or in a study abroad program in Beijing, Uchicago offers vast resources and exciting prospects. At Uchicago, I will find an idiosyncratic family with peculiar traditions and communities. One of the communities I am eagerly looking forward to is the Balle Bhangra. As a Sikh, Bhangra is an integral part of our culture and I am glad that Bhangra has a place in the University of Chicago. Thus, by providing me with a quirky family and challenging curriculum, the University of Chicago is a stimulating center where I seek to intellectually thrive.
You write very well.
you never mentioned how UC fulfill your need to study engineering, but you metioned how Balle Bhangra helps you.
You used lots of imagery. But like some one told me on this forum, if you can replace UC with another school, then it is not good enough.
Maybe you can be more specific and at the same time keep the imagery you started with because it very good.
Good essay overall.
[Moved from]: Deep in the labyrinths of my mind lies an itch
A. I like the Superman-Batman one better.
B. The beginning of your essay is definitely very engaging, and I like the way you connected it to your (Extracurricular? Job?) teaching children. Maybe I would like to know more about the upbringing that made you so driven to pursue knowledge, as well as the details of your teaching (Where is this? How long have you been teaching?). The end is still a little generic; I know you already talk about UChicago in another essay, but all the things you described could be found in most colleges.
Thus, by providing me with a challenging curriculum, the University of Chicago is a stimulating center where I seek to intellectually thrive and learn the true concept of education.
Why do you think UChicago can teach you the true concept of education? What do you think the true concept of education is?
Thank You for replying, I have sent one essay specifically talking about learning and how the interest developed, This is a supplement
Thank You for your help.!
