Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2


(My sister) - a person or event that has had a profound effect upon your life


Weepinbell50 1 / -  
Nov 29, 2009   #1
This essay is for my college application to UCONN. The prompt is: Describe a person or event that has had a profound effect upon your life. Thank you for those who have time to read it. The application is due on December 1st so I need to send out tomorrow, I'm sorry for cutting it close. Any help would be much appreciated!

Thinking back to my earliest memories, I recall wandering the halls of a hospital in Boston. I was almost four years old and my twelve year old sister had just lost battle with a rare and incurable cancer. Doctors from around the country had done everything they could to attempt to treat her condition but nothing proved to have any successful results. This event sparked my determination to make a difference with my own life so that one day no one will have to lose a loved one to this disease again.

I started school only several months after my sister's passing. Having just lost my best friend, I was reluctant to make new ones right away. With learning how to read, I decided to take refuge in books and arithmetic. Early exposure to the devastation of disease and the potential of medicine encouraged me to study math and science to understand why the human body works the way it does. School and grades gave me the drive I needed to move past the devastation of losing a sibling, and find success in my life.

As I grew older, my parents had encouraged me to expand my horizons and try new things. My knowledge of the world had been limited to only what I learned through the library at the small Catholic school I attended. I decided to take after my sister and to learn how to play a musical instrument. She had played the piano, so I chose to be different from her and play the guitar. Since learning how to play an instrument, music has allowed me to meet and associate with so many people I never would have known otherwise. Some of these people have shown me how great of a difference one person can make and how I need to pursue my goals of helping humanity.

Throughout high school I have taken double honors anatomy, AP physics, and AP calculus classes. These courses have proven to me that I can succeed in a biology and math based major and therefore I have chosen to continue my education in the field of biomedical engineering. It is in this discipline that I believe I can utilize my gifts and talents to help the most people and achieve my dream of finding cures for otherwise terminal diseases.

My sister has always been my role model and has had the greatest impact on my life. Despite the fact that she has not been here for most of my existence, I have learned and experienced so much because of her existence. Losing her has taught me not to take life for granted and to do the most with the time and talents I have.
linmark 2 / 328 7  
Dec 1, 2009   #2
OK - it's still Dec 1 so you know someone tried to get back to you in time
The essay is fine as is. The only thing I could think of to improve on is to state that her death was what had the most profound effect on your life. Also that she has been your inspiration, not really your role model since she died at 12.

My sister has always been my role modelinspiration and her death has had the greatest impact on my life.


Home / Undergraduate / (My sister) - a person or event that has had a profound effect upon your life
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳