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My sister recommended this school with a great passion; admissions essay - WHY NYUAD?


GJ_A 1 / -  
Dec 23, 2015   #1
After my sister came back from Abu Dhabi, I set out to find what made a so reserved girl prattle 24/7. She went on and on: NYU this; NYU that. For her to be impassioned about something then it must be really special. Little did I know that my curiosity would grow into a stronger passion.

Having a knack for learning new things outside class and making new acquaintances, I was immediately moved by NYU's multicultural society. Studying at NYU, I get to meet people from all walks of life and learn about diverse cultures: I will be surrounded by some of the most intelligent, creative, and interesting people from around the world; I could become a polyglot; I join and help promote the global village. In a class where everyone was from a different country, I can traverse the whole world within campus and even if that doesn't happen, the school's numerous internship and global opportunities will take me places. At NYUAD, I'd be prepared for a future that takes internationalism and cooperation seriously.

NYUAD's robust research environment accompanied with it's liberal arts curriculum is also going to fashion a more creative and innovative me. I had been restricted to almost no research in high school. The little me, who liked to explore, to use his imagination, to make action figures out of paper due to his lack of toys, had died. NYU would be his chance to resurrect. I will learn about the world at large rather than ending up a technical expert in only one field. My passion for music will also be enhanced as the core curriculum at NYU explores varied modes of thinking and human creativity from science and technology to literature and music. The music ensembles will be at my disposal hence incorporating a little art in my future career. An education from NYUAD is bound to secure my future in diverse number of areas.

NYUAD's small sized community and it's 10:1 student to faculty ratio, assures students (which I crave to be a part of) in-depth understanding of lessons that are thought. With a friendly and an inquisitive nature, I seek to employ this to my advantage; getting the tinniest bit of information from well equipped lectures and professors on campus.

Having lived in a tropic zone for all my life, it might seem strange why to express interest in another hot environment when I can choose otherwise, but hey it's Abu Dhabi for crying out loud!
amounenaitlho 7 / 12 3  
Dec 23, 2015   #2
Very good job on the essay I especially liike the last paragraph but there are a few mistakes which should be adressed. First of all

She went on and on: NYU this; NYU that.about how wonderful NYU is .I was curious because it was very rare for my sister to be impassioned about things.For her to be impassioned about something then it must be really special. Little did I know that my curiosity would grow into a stronger passion.

If IStudyingstudy at NYU, I will get to meet people from all walks of life and learn about diverse cultures:

I could become a polyglot; I join and help promote the global village. take away this sentence it does not link well with the paragraph and frankly makes no sense.

In a class where everyone wasis from a different country, It would be possible to traverse the whole world within campus and even if that doesn't happen, . Furhtermore the school's numerous internship and global opportunities will take me places. At NYUAD, I'd be prepared for a future that takes internationalism and cooperation seriously.

NYUAD's robust research environment accompanied with it's its liberal arts curriculum is also going to fashion a more creative and innovative me.

I will learn about the world at large rather than ending up aend up as a technical expert in only one field.

Having lived in a tropic zone for all my life, it might seem strange why to express interest in another hot environment when I can choose otherwise, but hey it's Abu Dhabi for crying out loud!

I think this should be taken away because it does not fit with the essay and is irrelevant but good job!
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Dec 26, 2015   #3
Ansah, the information that you included in this essay is really information that does not offer a true personal insight into the reasons why you would want to attent NYUAD. You know which part I think will better resonate with the reviewer? Having you develop your passion to attend the university based upon the experiences that your sister had which might have positively influenced you to wish to attend the university.

Keep in mind that having an alumna in the family could help your application because it shows a personal interest on your part in attending the university. As it could also be seen as a case of you simply wanting to imitate your sister, you should also include some personal reasons for wishing to attend the university that doesn't sound like it came from the university website or second hand information. Discuss your major and the reasons why you believe that NYUAD is the best place for your to attend academically. Make sure that the personal reasons that you gained from your sister will be reinforced by your own personal reasons for wanting to attend the university. By showing a strong personal reason and a compelling academic reason, then you will strengthen your application.


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