Unanswered [29] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2


'sketching and materials' - intended major + 'happy to go to school' UC prompt1/2


jenny1989 1 / -  
Nov 21, 2011   #1
i have terrible writing skills and grammar, but I want to make the essay stronger and easier to understand.
Any suggestion or tips would be appreciated =) thanks!!!!!!!

Prompt #1 (transfer applicants)
What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.

I grew up in an environment where sketching and materials were scattered all over the room. My Mother was a stage/exhibition designer and my home used to be her office. I could see her working with a T-square, an orange 45-degree triangle, and a laptop drafting board. Then she would draw some simple lines in AutoCad, make them into a complicated object and take me to the exhibitions to see the actual works. It always amazed me how a small sketch on paper can be transformed into a realistic project. By growing up in such an environment, the thought of becoming involved in the designing field grew in my mind.

In my last year of high school, I got a chance to take a drafting workshop in Taiwan. I was able to learn some technical drafting skills, from the fundamentals such as lettering, metric construction and technical sketching, to some advanced skills such as orthographic projection, sections, and intersections. At the end of the workshop, I had an assignment to design a house plan for an assigned site. We started with some diagrams that not only represented physical elements such as lights, but also analyzed the function, character, size and relationship between spaces. Then the diagrams are transformed to more complex graphic representations by drawing some hand sketches on tracing paper on top of the site outline. The workshop not only helped me understand the geometry and the properties of shapes, but also helped me realize that a good design demands an enormous amount of time and dedication to go through the process step by step.

In order to gain more practical experiences in a professional environment of architecture, I participated in a short-term internship program in a Taiwan firm, which had cooperative projects with a China architecture firm. We had a project, in Beijing, China, to build a modernist style apartment while keeping the historic landmarks neighborhood. Through the project, I realized that people have different standards and beliefs that shape the way they build their homes. As I explored the old building of Beijing and the modern style architecture, I began to look beyond the aesthetics and towards the logical reasoning and purpose behind architecture. The new style apartment emphasized balance and harmony by using clean and straight lines, while the historic style emphasized the traditional customs and political power by laying out on a rectangular gird. During the internship, I understood people use architecture to reflect their spiritual and physical environmental needs, showing that architecture is deeply rooted in history, culture, and customs.

I decided to become an architect when I was young, and since then, there has not been a single day when my resolution has wavered. People reflect their lives, belief and culture through architecture, and I will be the storyteller, telling their story through tangible geometry shapes.

(I ll come up wif a better conclusion... )

Prompt #2 (all applicants)
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

"I am so happy I can go to school. Thank you for your support. I promise I will study hard and help others when I grow up- just like you do." It was a hand make card from Mei-Mei, a 10- year- old Taiwanese aborigine girl who I have been financial supporting. I never knew I was able to share before knowing MeiMei, or at least I did not think I own that much to give out. However, helping her taught me to appreciate and respect my values, making me realize even I just own the least in the world, I can be the richest through sharing.

Growing up in a single parent family, I felt I had right to be mad and I was being rude and selfish all the time. When I was little, I was the child who came home crying from school, "I did not know who to make a Father's Day card for because I did not have a father." I jealously looked toward the two parents- kid, who had a dad to explain the rules of sport games, to climb mountains on weekends, and to provide a sense of security to the family. Living with all these emotions pent up inside me, there were points in my life where I would just sit and cry in confusion. So I tended to isolate myself; I tended to not to be giving. If people live with regrets in their lives; at the time, the regret I had to deal with was something I felt I could never get over.

4 years ago, through The Red Cross organization of Taiwan, I got a chance to know there were many children lost the opportunity to get educated due to lack of financial sources and educational materials. By giving a small amount of money and writing them some encouragement cards, I can support a kid continue going to school physically and emotionally. Seeing the pictures of these innocent faces, it was the first time I had a strong feeling I want to be sharing. Since I did not have much money either, I gave up buying the things I liked to support Mei Mei to go to school. Surprisingly, I felt I was doing something truly meaningful and fulfilling instead of feeling negative about giving up things I liked.

Holding her appreciation card in hands, I have come to realize I can only have more for myself by giving love away to others; I have come to realize that is not about how much you own since fulfillment comes from how much you can support your fellows.

Though I sometimes still hang on to the regrets of not seeing things through, I started viewing my life is valuable and appreciating what I have. Indeed, everyone lives with regrets in their lives, but I learned to keep a cheerful attitude toward life, to be faithful to my values, to share with others what I have.
Klabberghasted - / 2  
Nov 21, 2011   #2
4 years ago, through The Red Cross organization of Taiwan,

"Four years ago"
Spell out all numbers (except for dates) in a formal essay.

I think the subject of your essay will capture the reader's attention--but the grammar mistakes make it very hard to focus on what you're trying to say. Try to correct the grammar as best as you can, then post it again. I'll be happy to look at it once it's a bit more polished.

Best of luck!


Home / Undergraduate / 'sketching and materials' - intended major + 'happy to go to school' UC prompt1/2
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳