Hi Dumi- I have further edited it to answer the question! Let me know what you think! I appreciate any help!!
Other than that, I think this is a solid answer and says a lot despite having to be so short!
Yep.... it sounds great and guess you have a strict word count to keep it so slim and trim :D
I only find this word a bit ...hmmmmmm ... how do I say? .... a bit odd :D
by experiencing my major hands on.
... I cannot get the idea why you used the word "major"... Other than that I find this is an excellent answer which is very well presented.
Wish you good luck with your application!