What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that would allow you to contribute to the UCF community?
What kind of kid foregoes the opportunity to skip school to go to an amusement park? The answer is the kid writing this essay. Even before high school, I never liked the idea of skipping school, even if I was sick. This is thanks to my quality of being dedicated to success. This quality has stuck with me to this day and it's a great part of why I'm applying to UCF. At this school, I know I will be challenged academically and with the challenge comes my goal of doing the most I can to succeed. I always strive to do my best and push myself to the limits and I can radiate this energy to my peers and help others find success in accomplishing their goals.
I tend to always remain optimistic as well, which goes hand in hand with my dedication to success. Optimism is a quality that gives me purpose. I know at this university I'll give my all in everything I do with the mindset that I'll succeed. Success may not happen the first time, but success is destined if I keep trying.
In high school, I had days where I had a 4 hour band practice after school, babysitting responsibilities when I got home, and tons of homework that I needed to get done for my AICE and AP courses. Even with all of this, I never let any of these obligations get in the way of my academics. I always found a way to get everything done thanks to my time-management skills I learned over the years. These skills can be a great advantage to me at this university when I'm juggling course work, a job, and the various school activities. With these qualities, I am sure that I will be able to contribute to the UCF community and reach my goal of graduating with a B.A degree in information technology.
Anthony, your character traits are indeed admirable as a student and as a person. However, the prompt is asking you to describe your social skills in relation to the possibility of your becoming a member of the UCF community. So while you spoke very strongly of your personal strong points, it is your social skills that you need to highlight this time.
Some examples of the social skills that you can discuss are some of your extra curricular activities. Something along the lines of your participation in charitable activities, community service and the like are normal responses to this essay. This would be a good time to show off your leadership skills if you have had any experience in the past. For example, if you headed the prom committee or started a community outreach project, let the reviewer know about it. He will be very interested to know about that side of you.
The essay needs you to discuss some ideas that you have for the further development of the social life of the UCF community. I suggest that you look into the kind of social activities that the university enjoys mounting by searching for those on the internet. Then base your response upon those activities, adding some new ideas or activities that you feel can help further promote student camaraderie and kinship. Once you do that, then your response to the essay will have been corrected and complete.
When I first read your essay, I was completely surprised. I think it is a good start. I would like to give you some suggestions.
In your first paragraph place a comma after "academically." I would like to give you a suggestion:
radiate this energy to my peers and help , you could replace it with "can use these attributes to help my peers and others".
Here is a suggestion for your next paragraph: "I tend to always remain optimistic, which helps me with my dedication to success." (I was trying to help you avoid stating: hand in hand.)
The last paragraph, you could make a revision: "...because of the time-management skills I learned throughout the years."
I hope this helps!
At this school , I know that in this institution I will be...
- ...doing the most that I can to succeed.
tend to always remain optimistic as well,
- I know
atthat in this university I'll give my all in...
- everything I do
with the mindset that I'll succeed( I believe you had enough emphasis on saying that your goal is to succeed, so you can delete it in this sentence ) .
Even withAbove all of this,
- I always
foundfind a way to get everything...
Very well written, that's all I can say. You justified the purpose of the prompt, a few minor remarks but that's about it.
I hope you will be able to make it to UCF, I wish you the best of luck.