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'a slow, agonizing deat' - My personal statement


kayleighlevitt 5 / 8  
Dec 15, 2011   #1
Comfortable complacency has always seemed like a slow, agonizing death. I never want to become so stuck in the formalities of being human that I lose sight of my power to choose the direction of my life. I am scared of living in fear, so I do things I am afraid of. It was my fear of never finding the light that brought me to the light. It was my fear of not having the strength to live my dreams that challenged me to become the strength I needed. Fear is my greatest teacher. Instead of running away from it, I chose to see it as wisdom in disguise. It is an opportunity to grow.

I joined a new thought community when I was thirteen. New thought taught me about the power of intention and the wisdom of stillness. My journey became one of recognizing my inherent self-worth. I learned that everything in the universe is interconnected. I realized the only true power is love. It became okay to be imperfect and that didn't mean I deserved any less love. In fact, I was told to love all the parts of who I am no matter what they looked like. I committed to living a conscious life. Socrates said "The unexamined life is not worth living." It became clear that my only choice was to wake up.

Waking up is not always a pleasant process. You smash your alarm off. Your bed suddenly seems more comfortable than before. All you want is another minute of dreaming. Life seems like a harsh place in comparison to the sweetness of sleeping.

Prior to spiritually waking up, it was the same way. I wanted to ignore every "opportunity to grow". My comfort zone looked like heaven. All I wanted was to close my eyes to the truth and be blissfully ignorant. Yet, I do not want to sleepwalk through my life that way. I would rather actively participate in my evolution as a human being.

We are essentially made of nothing; our bodies are mostly empty atoms vibrating at varying frequencies. From that nothingness, we create ourselves. To me that is the point. We are supposed to make something out of nothing and enjoy it. We are supposed to dance with the emptiness. We are supposed to live for the sake of living and squeeze the juice out of everyday.

When I look up at the sky, sometimes I see the greatest masterpiece ever created. The moon speaks to me of ancient paradoxes. The ocean whispers tales of what infinity feels like. The forest reminds me what it feels like to grow. Life is full of mysteries. Chasing answers is as pointless as counting the amount of hairs on my head. It proves nothing. Therefore, with every breath, I plunge into the unknown. With every breath, I dare to live.


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