Prompt:In determining who may enroll at Spelman as a transfer student, faculty review each application and essay. Please share with our faculty why you would be an outstanding student in their classes, discuss your college experience thus far and provide your reason for wanting to transfer to Spelman College.
August 23, 2010 dates my first day of classes at Georgia State University. Like many incoming freshmen, I was afraid of new obstacles I would encounter, excited of beginning a new stage in life, and eager to see what State had to offer me as an individual. I soon realized that what I desired at first is not in my interest now. The benefit of spending a year here is that I now have a better understanding as to what is important to me, in terms of my career goals and a great college experience, in which I believe Spelman College will aid in my fulfillment.
The years I spent in high school were not great; however I made the best of them. My grades suffered during my freshmen year but I quickly regained self-control. Although I recognized my faults and tried my best to recover during my sophomore year, I had more difficulties coming my way. Due to family issues, I moved through two foster homes and a group home within one school year. I continued to reside in the group home until my senior year of high school. As a foster child, I focused mainly on my family and less on academics. My grades were not as decent as I know they could have been. The more I adjusted to the new changes, the better my grades became. I know what failure feels like; therefore, I know it is not what I am aiming for in life. I am confident in my potential for success and I am willing to work hard to achieve the goals that I have established for myself in order to succeed. As I approach set-backs, I am not afraid to ask for help from instructors and fellow peers. I plan to visit professors during office hours and attend tutoring sessions more often than I have done this year. I accept responsibility for my mistakes, knowing that only I can repair them myself. Also, being focused and disciplined will guarantee my success of being an outstanding student in my classes while I attend Spelman College.
I am currently studying Actuarial Science at Georgia State. I have always loved my math courses; conversely, attending a calculus course, this semester, has helped me understand that I do not love math as much as I thought. My dislike for calculus has led me to reconsider my occupational goals. Seeking advice and helpful resources from career counselors, I now know where I intend to direct myself. I have a passion for dance and an interest in psychology. By attending Spelman College, I hope to complete a major in psychology and a minor in dance to become a dance therapist with my focus mainly being children and seniors. While most of my reasons are academic, I also have non-academic reasons for wanting to transfer to Spelman. Coming to college I was ready to learn new things, and have fun while doing it. I've learned new things but I have not been able to enjoy it in the process. Georgia State has over 31,000 students. In contrast, Spelman has a little over 2,000. I would prefer to be in a smaller environment where I am not just a number. I want for all of my professors to know my name and know me as a person.
Due to my own research and having lived in Atlanta my whole life, I am very much aware of Spelman's wonderful reputation as a women's liberal arts college. I hope you will recognize my desire to become a part of the Spelman community. I believe that my determination and drive will make me an exceptional addition to your school. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Use "excited about" instead of "of"
...would encounter, excited about beginning a new ...
The years I spent in high school were not great; however I made the best of them. ----good sentence!
I want for all of my professors to know my name and know me as a person.---Very good... I really like the way you express your ideas in this essay.
You have some excellent goals and you seem very thoughtful/reflective. I think the essay is good, and if you want to make it better you can add some more detail about what you hope to accomplish in your first year at this new school. Set some goals for yourself, and become familiar with articles written by the professors, etc. You can get very specific, and that will show your seriousness.
:-)
