Hi again this is the 2nd prompt and I need help proof reading it (grammar, spelling,etc) and does it relate to the topic, also any advice to make it better. thanks so much!!!
Prompt #2 (all applicants)
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
When people see me they assume that I'm smart, because I'm Asian. Truth is my grades were poorly during high school; although, it improved when I began community college I've came a long way from the average C student to A's and B's. It only took one look of disappointment from my father's face when he was lying on the hospital bed for me to understand that I needed to take school seriously.
My parents often tend to push me to do better in school, but I never listened. No matter how many after school programs I attended none of them improved my grades. Soon my parents gave up on me when I started high school. At first I didn't understand why my parents cared on how well I did in school until my father's accident. I soon realized I couldn't depend on my parents forever and that I would have to care for myself. I needed to quickly improve my grades within the short amount of time that I had before graduating high school.
Towards the middle of my senior year I was told from my counselor that I might not graduate. I was living in fear and regardless the amount of studying it was too late to change what I have done to myself. I never felt out of place at school until college week came by and most of my friends were wearing sweaters that represented which university they were attending. It was a façade when I would smile and congratulated them on their success, because I wanted to be apart of it, but I couldn't. I was angry with myself, on how I didn't give school a chance to allow me to explore the endless possibilities on what I could become in the future. Luckily I was able to graduate with all my friends, but I was unable to share the experience of receiving the acceptance letter from universities with them.
After graduation I quickly enrolled in summer school at Mount San Antonio College. Since I was given a second chance to improve on my grades I didn't want to make the same mistakes that I done in high school. Though I studied hard throughout my first year at Mount San Antonio College, unfortunately there were some bumps along the way when I began my second year. I thought I could take additional classes than I could handle obviously I was proven wrong with my first F. By the time I realized I needed to drop the course it was past the drop date. I understood it was my fault and there wasn't anything I could do to erase the F from my transcript. All I can do is learn from that mistake and know my limits because I won't be given a third chance.
I've always thought I did poorly in school was because I wasn't smart but that wasn't the excuse, I was simply too lazy to actually study. Thinking back to how I was in high school I was someone who was passionate in helping others when I didn't notice I needed the most help in my grades. Now I've transferred my passion on helping others into improving my grades.
