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Smith College Supp. "Is a women's college still relevant in 2009?"


uyt6996 3 / 9  
Jan 30, 2010   #1
Good afternoon! :) It's my first time to upload my essay here.
I have a couple of brief essays for Smith College. I need to cut down some words for the first essay due to the words limit. :(

For second one, I'm not sure whether my reasons for the following question are reasonable or not.

Please help me. My essay might sound awkward because English is not my first language.
Any comments, corrections, opinions or questions welcome! Thanks!

How did you first learn of Smith College and why are you applying? (Limit response to 100 words.)

The Journals of Sylvia Plath was the first book that introduced me to Smith where she wrote beautiful stories. I have always wanted to be an advocate for women and kids in alienation, social isolation, and confusion, so Smith-with its great support for talented, exuberant, and determined women -is an ideal place for me to major in Women and Gender Studies. Smith gives me opportunities to visualize Plath in the Mortimer rare book room through her drafts, to design my own major, and to work for the Smith College Museum of Art even though my major is not Art.

When Smith College was founded in 1871, there were few educational opportunities for women. Is a women's college still relevant in 2009? (Limit response to 150 words)

There is ongoing debate on equal distribution of influence between genders. Until I see more women in political positions and men and women making equal treatment for equal work, I support anything that gives women a slight edge in the world. Since men are socially superior to women so far, it is easier for a man to get into colleges. Women's colleges offer special options for highly strong, bold, qualified women, whose spots at co-ed schools are being taken by less qualified male student. Even though I know there are some strength and unique merit that men can bring into college society, I think women's colleges are still relevant because someone needs to change the entire social, academic nature of the college, and I certainly believe Smith is the one of those who will brighten not only the nature of the college but also the world through cultivating determined Smithies. (150)
Wanderer_x 5 / 88  
Jan 31, 2010   #2
From The Journals of Sylvia Plath, I first met Smith.

"I first met Smith" sounds like Smith is some person.

I was really surprised that Smith is the college that I have been looking for.

can do without this line better.

Most imp, the prompt asks you to tell how did you "first learn" about Smith, nothing like why smith. So, your answer is somewhat out of topic. Just two-three lines on how you came to know about Smith and what made you try to learn more should be enough. For instance, because you wish to become a advocate for women and children, the fact that Smith is a women's college clicked in your case.
OP uyt6996 3 / 9  
Jan 31, 2010   #3
For instance, because you wish to become a advocate for women and children, the fact that Smith is a women's college clicked in your case.

That's exactly what I want to say! Thanks, Wanderer_X!!
I will fix my first supplement essay right away. What do you think about second one?

Most imp, the prompt asks you to tell how did you "first learn" about Smith, nothing like why smith. So, your answer is somewhat out of topic.

But, they are also asking "WHY" am I applying to Smith, not just how I first learn about Smith. If I talk about why I like Smith do you think it is out of topic?

Thank you for your comment!


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