This is my UC Essay but I'm wondering if I can use this for my CommonApp essay too... I know I'd have to change it up a bit so if you have any suggestions as to what to expand on I'd REALLY appreciate it!
Prompt would be: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
But if it doesn't answer this prompt at all then it would need to be Topic of Your Choice.
THANK YOU!
It was our last night in Ruei-Fang, Taiwan. Out of the blue, one of my fellow volunteer teachers asked, "Do you guys want to go explore the town?"
I looked at her, confused. "You mean, sneak out? Isn't that dangerous?"
She laughed, "Of course not. We have three people- more than enough for this adventure!"
Naturally, I was against the idea. Not only was it dangerous to go out into the city unsupervised and unfamiliar with our surroundings, but it was also past our curfew. Our supervisor was bound to catch us.
"Well, what do you think?" my friend asked again, expectantly. My conscience told me it was a bad idea. It was risky and the trouble we could get in should have been enough reason to stay inside. But even though my instincts yearned to play it safe, a voice in the back of my mind echoed, "It's your last night here." Realizing that I may never have this opportunity again, I reluctantly agreed with the proposal. In unanimous agreement, the three of us hurried out our dorm, onto the main street, and towards the bright city lights.
That night was the most memorable experience I've had in my life thus far. Whether it was the adrenaline of breaking the rules or the mere freedom of the night, I was glad I made the decision to step away from the dorm that I had been confined in for two weeks. With no set destination, the three of us strolled freely along the Taipei railroad tracks, wandered through the hills of the rural community, and rested on the side of the Keelung River. During the three short hours of freedom, I was in awe of the nature contained in the small town. The endless rolling hills were covered in mossy dark green trees and the croaking frogs of the nearby swamp formed a melodious chorus that left me speechless simply because I had never seen or heard such raw beauty before in my life. The simplicity of nature that had been concealed from me for so long made my last night at Ruei-Fang truly breathtaking. With all worries and paranoia aside, I was able to experience the peacefulness and beauty of the Taiwan countryside.
Never had I felt so much freedom. Having grown up sheltered, I never questioned the rules or restrictions set upon me. However, that night, my decision to step out of the small dorm and explore the undiscovered areas of my temporary home opened my eyes to the limitless experiences possible. Looking back, I realize that as I learn and grow I need to have more nights like that night at Ruei-Fang. Sometimes, I need to take risks; I need to explore. I need to make myself vulnerable to the potential dangers in life because it allows me to see and experience the world on an entirely different level. Even though we were caught that night, I know that my imagination and creativity were forever let loose and my perspective of reality was forever changed.
Also, do titles for essays matter for the CommonApp?
I think this is really good. I would just enter it under the topic you have picked out. I think it fits very well. Its very unusual and memorable. I was skeptical at first of why you were telling this to a college and how it would turn into a positive thing, but you did a great job!
Good Luck!
I believe that this fits the prompt. However, I feel this is a bit too short for a personal statement, and you might want to reflect more on your excursion and how it has shaped you. Great perspective, though! :-)
I would appreciate your input on my common-app essay as well, if you have time!
