Soccer! - Comm. App - Elaborate an Extracurricular

So the Common App. topic
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below.
I chose to elaborate the sport Soccer and I would like criticism before I send this off within the next few days. THANK YOU!

A round ball and two goals separated by a hundred yards of freshly cut grass are not much at face value. Add twenty two other people, and a game of soccer becomes one of the most relaxing experiences provided. Soccer flourishes with challenges and achievements for any and everyone. From being as precise as staying on-sides on an attack, to full on sprints to get a loose ball from a defender; it demands the most physically and mentally.

Soccer can be extremely relieving, as well. Whether angry after an argument with a relative or frustrated from a failed test from class, soccer clears your mind. All of your problems temporarily trade-offed for peace of mind, calming, warm sweat and loosened muscles. Faced with unpredictable challenges like preventing the opposition from scoring, knowing when to move to execute the offside trap, devising plans to score goals, and many other factors of the game; soccer provides an opportunity to cast off any stress and have some fun.

Once again thank you!

saying that it is a relaxing activity contradicts "it demands the most physically and mentally"
not sure if it's the best idea to be saying "you", focus on yourself