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Soccer Essay. Common App 150 words or less


azianpinoy 2 / -  
Nov 1, 2008   #1
Elaborate on one of your activities

Any opinions or suggestions will be much appreciated. Also any grammar or spell checks would help too. Microsoft word won't work so I didn't have grammar or spell check.

"This is our year. Our time to break through the barrier and prove everyone wrong by making it to the state playoffs." This was the consensus for everyone on the soccer team. It seemed like nothing could stand in our way.

However, our dream was shattered when we allowed key games to slip out of our hands. When I realized the playoffs were no longer in reach, disappointment spread throughout my body. Thoughts of quitting the team quickly arose.

I then took a look at my teammates. Flashbacks of doubles practice entered my mind. I recalled how they helped me fight through when I felt like passing out from exhaustion. They helped me believe in myself and taught me how important teamwork and friendship is. I made an obligation to them all when I joined the team and there was no way I was going to abandon them now.

Thanks for reading my essay :).
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 2, 2008   #2
Good evening.

Your piece is mechanically clean; I could see no spelling or grammatical mistakes. You have good content for this piece as your short story tells a great deal of detail without exceeding the word count. A strong essay; nice work.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


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