5. Carolina encourages students and faculty to solve problems. What problem are you trying to solve, and why is it important to you? (approximately 500 words)
The societal stigma that surrounds mental disorders has always been present. Like many, I previously thought that 'disability' was equivalent to 'dysfunction,' however my experience with YKNOT? changed my perception and understanding of an entire group present and prominent within society--individuals with mental disabilities.
My work with YKNOT? consisted of providing swimming lessons for children with mental disorders. The conditions of the children in my class varied, from ADHD to cerebral palsy, and it was working with them that sparked a complete evolution of my perspective. I came to love these kids with no second thought of their disabilities, and it was a shock when I listened to parents tell me stories of their children getting teased in regular swim lessons and the bullying that occurred within their schools. At first, I merely believed that the cruelty of other kids was due to their immaturity. That is, until a close friend of mine referred to YKNOT as a 'class of retards.'
That was when I realized that we have a problem in our society. If a friend could not understand that my kids are not 'retards,' how could I expect that of individuals with no relation to those with disabilities? The general public, with beliefs based on fear and misunderstandings, often negatively stereotype those with mental illnesses. With so many educators and policy makers sweeping the topic of mental health under the rug, there is a lack of instruction and awareness in our schools from a young age. I realized that I had to take action. (awks)
As a member of my student council and the Student Trustee of the Peel District School Board, I organized a mental health week with the assistance of the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) and spearheaded the promotion of the Mental Health Charter of Rights by the Coalition of Children and Youth Mental Health in my school board. Both initiatives encouraged students to learn and discuss issues related to mental health, bringing the topic to the forefront of discussion in schools and communities.
The response was overwhelming. Over 500 students participated in daily workshops that week and three months later, a Mental Health Charter hangs in the foyer of all 32 high schools in the Peel District School Board. At YKNOT?, my kids and I organized a Swim-a-Thon for the entire community, raising over $9,000 for the CMHA and collecting 8,280 signatures in support of mental health awareness. The signatures now hang on a banner at the entrance of the YMCA, a sign of welcome to all types of individuals.
At the University of Chapel Hill, I plan to become actively involved with Active Mind at Carolina, an organization of students dedicated to changing the dialogue of mental health. Through Active Mind, I can apply the logistics and event-planning skills I have developed as a Student Trustee to organize events that educate the UNC student body on all aspects of mental health - from the hard facts behind mental disorders to how to respond to peers suffering from mental illness. Through Active Minds, I can meet and collaborate with like-minded students passionate about making a difference with their education to create a more open and supportive environment for all. [blah idk some really nice summary one liner that's like BAM]
This is the best essay I've seen on this site since I began using it. There are a few issues with commas. Other than that, you have established how you became a mental health advocate, what you have done so far, and how you plan on using UNC in order to further this goal. The only other thing I would include would be some sort of specific plan that you have post college, and how what you learn at UNC will help that that plan.
Again, this is a brilliant essay. Provided you are academically qualified (which I'm sure you are), you will be accepted - easily.
Here is one of the comma issues. I personally would eliminate the comma and flow right into the next clause.
The conditions of the children in my class varied,
Congratulations on your admission! (Whenever it happens to come)
