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'society beyond the vegetation' - UVA essay suggestions


nix545 1 / -  
Oct 11, 2012   #1
This is an essay about "your favorite place to get lost." Ideas/suggestions?

Forests stretch endlessly in every direction in New England, always offering a temporary escape from life. Within their trees, I have spent countless hours playing, thinking, and simply getting lost.

As I wander through the woods, a certain serenity overtakes whatever troubles might be on my mind. I am no longer an element of the developed world and its daily routine, but one of the natural world, a world which conducts itself without rules, judgment, or regard to anything other than the rising and setting of the sun. The ease of the natural order captivates me, and I feel fully incorporated into the environment.

As I continue to roam, there is no need to worry about the outside world. No human eyes look upon me; it is just the trees and I. The sweet silence is only broken by an occasional gust of wind pushing through the foliage, or the scurrying of a perturbed squirrel. In the woods, I am king.

As I jump across streams and climb my way over fallen oaks, I pay little concern to direction. My path is circuitous, marked only by whichever two trees I choose to walk between. But I am lost in location only: my sense of self is completely found. Eventually I will stumble upon a road or a house, reminding me of the society beyond the vegetation, but no matter when or where I meet this crossroad, there will still remain another way to walk and continue getting lost.
angela0407 3 / 19  
Oct 11, 2012   #2
like your essay.It's beautifully-written. Good luck with UVA!
My suggestions are:
1. Elaborate your opening. Bring the reader in!! Maybe set up a scene or something.
2. I believe you can go a little bit deeper about WHY this kind of lost experience is important to you.

Can you see mine as well?


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