"somebody of two worlds" BU undergrad supplement essay

Hi, this is my Boston University undergrad admission essay rough draft. i am not completely done with it i still need to add one more papragraph explaining how my qualities contribute to the BU community. but first i need to make sure that the first part of the essay is legible to add on.

Prompt

In an essay of no more than 500 words, please select three words that describe you best and tell us how you will use these qualities/characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community

Essay

Somebody of Two Worlds
"Courage is not the absence of fear." I have heard this phrase a couple of times but never really thought about what it meant. My biggest fear is speaking in public or speaking in front of a crowd. Last summer, I took a theater class which involved performing in front of an audience every day. This helped me overcome my stage fright. In addition, I am taking a speech class this spring to make sure that I won't have fear speaking in public ever again. It took a lot of courage from me to fight back my fear. However, this will help me share my opinions and ideas in the Boston University's community: in class, in a club, or maybe in the student government.

Another trait that I have that will contribute to Boston University's community is my adaptability. Since I was born in a different country, I experienced the difficulty of adapting to another culture. Now, it is easy for me to move from one place to another without feeling homesick and I can focus more on my success rather than lamenting on moving away from my family. In Boston University's community, I would help students who feel homesick or finding it hard to achieve their goals with their family being miles away.

The third word that best describe me is talented. I started playing music when I was seven years old. I played the piano, then I moved to the xylophone. When I came to the US, I was inspired by the school's marching band, so I joined the pit. I played the xylophone my freshman and sophomore year until I decided to learn to play the base drum. It is easy for me to learn a new instrument in a short time. My junior year I passed the tryouts and became a member of the bass line. I preformed in the marching season and in winter drum line. I plan on joining the marching band at Boston University to share my passion in music and joining the pep band to contribute in the school's spirit for all the basketball games and the hockey games.

It seems that you may be missing the point of the essay prompt; please select three words that describe you best ...

Is the first one of these words, 'courage'? If it is, state it clearly and then tell what makes you courageous as you have done here, but in few enough words that you have space for the other two words which describe you.

You'll need to shorten this part quite a bit to make room for telling how those three qualities will contribute to the BU community.

ok i rewrote the whole thing. i am just missing an opening sentence and a conclusion which i have no clue what to put in

That phrase was used in a martial arts movie called "Best of the Best 2." I'm embarassed to know that, ha ha. I like action movies...

Right now this sees like 3 little essays. You should use a central theme... something related to your intended major. Know what I mean? The intro and conclusion should frame the essay within a theme that involves those 3 words and your intentions for the future -- and maybe even the unique resources at BU.