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UT Prompt#1 someone that inspired you "a man that started a life oddesy for another"


HarrisonIronM 1 / 1  
Nov 27, 2011   #1
Good day people, this is absolutely my first draft, so be MEAN and ANGRY because this is basically my first essay ever. Just check it out, thanks.

The prompt is talk about someone that has inspired me. THANK YOU PEOPLE.

I know my title does sound a little bit deep and could have been Stanly Kubrick movie but every single word of this completely true. For the first part I was an extremely troubled teenager in high school. to be honest I was an individual that couldn't really find what I was interested in. I was just a freshman like many others that seeks attention from others and the only thing that matters was to be "cool". I was flunking school and everything and nothing really seemed to matter to me because I was "too cool" to care and a bit empty on the inside. It wasn't until I started going to theatre class and met "the Bishop" before I finally realized that THEATRE IS AWESOME. From then on I was deep into theatre and he was a more than just a teacher but an actual friend. He was the type of person that could be a world class comedian for his students and friends and a great serious dictator when it comes to theatre productions so that cues and lines that must be memorized gets memorized or someone's getting yelled at, it is tough love, that's what the theatre people call it. Sometimes he even puts both aspects into play. For example, we were doing George Orwell's Animal Farm for our major production last year. I remember for one rehearsal, I was about thirty minutes late maybe because I over slept or something, I couldn't really remember it. I remember the moment I walked in. He looked at me with a glare of a dragon and just said "Harrison, you are dead." And nothing happened, so I just blended into the rehersal like nothing happened, and I was just laughing on the inside because I thought I would be in big BIG trouble. Because I wasn't a major like Napoleon or Snowball I was one of the animals that were casted differently. I was a sheep and a pig later on. It wasn't until next rehearsal were I realized that bishop casted me die twice in the play; more than any other characters. There was so much irony in this, when I realized the connection I was in tears laughing. A "you are dead" from somebody must not be taken in any un serious manner.

About a year before the humors of Harrison being the only animal that dies twice in Animal Farm Mr. Bishop organized a ten day theatre school trip in England that basically defined my interest as a whole. The trip basically consist of all group to go to a major theatre production every single day and go do all the things a single tourist in London could do. It wasn't just the major productions that has enlightened me the whole way ( they sure did by the way, nobody can get enough of watching Romeo and Juliet in an actual theatre in Stratford.) It was also the little quarks and fun like trying to learn the British Queen accent before going and to see if any of us would get identified as a none English ( we did fail miserably.) no one on the English crew after the trip were no longer strangers, that made me realize that everyone has their own tale and life, and "don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that man's shoes." - Elvis Presley. After the England trip, I have acted in every single production I successfully get in, and to the ones I don't get in to. My attitude just goes " whatever, that means more free time." In senior year I am currently directing a play whine I type this, hope that would end up alright.

The tragedy happened not soon before the showing of Animal Farm. Mr. Bishop in fact got into a car accident that was eventually fatal for him. Students, faculty members, and his family cried a billion tears. The tragedy happened out of the blue and it was a very hard time for many others like me. After a couple of months of more emotion struggles that caused academic struggle, and I also started smoking and had deep depression because he meant so much to me. The theatre group formed a family that helped each other out. In the end my heart I truly believe that he would probably be laughing his ass off at us if he saw all of us struggling like this, life might not go on, but time does. He would definitely wish us to move on with our lives and not be discouraged. Though the ceremony was painful and such, the pictures made me realized that he really wouldn't want us to react like this. I eventually learned that death could come at any time, and it is best to live life like death is a day away. Even though I don't completely for fill that saying but I do try. Even though I have made all of the mistakes earlier in life, it is better than later. He took me through these mistakes and made me a new man living for the future and not at the past. A brick wall is there to be broken. It took me great courage and a relive of the emotions to write this. But thank you Mr. Bishop. The legacy of the man that inspired many will always live on and carry on with everyone's lives. Rest in peace, one of the greatest human beings I've met that isn't my parents.

minijuey 4 / 7  
Nov 28, 2011   #2
Your idea and story is a powerful. With the writing techniques and sentences, this can make for a great essay. However, you have a few unnecessary things that might hurt you. First off, fix the grammatical mistakes. Nothing too hard to do there, but in the beginning you waste words by explaining how you didn't care. Keep in mind that this is a 500 word essay so you want to be as concise as possible. It also doesnt really have anything to do with the rest of your essay and although you are setting the background for it, you dont need to talk about it in detail. Hope it helps a little.
OP HarrisonIronM 1 / 1  
Nov 28, 2011   #3
Thank you good sir! I re read it and realized that the grammar was a little bit out of control. The UT essays had a word limit a lot greater than 500 words so I think I'll just keep the essay in a similar format, because I think that the build up is kind of necessary. Thanks for your time, man. have a great one.


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