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something about you that will help your future roommate, Stanford Prompt 2


viettran92 4 / 8  
Dec 17, 2009   #1
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.

THat is a Stanford's prompt, i think it's pretty popular. Here is my 1st draft, please feel free to tell me what you think.

Have you ever heard of Andrea Boticelli? Probably not. How about Sean Wayne and Chris Brown? Better? Don't worry, after one year with me, you will master the way of listening to random music as I do.

Aside from that unpredictable taste, any other thing that I do is pretty "tolerable" and easy-to-stand. First, I love to act and get everything done quickly. You will see that is a nice trait I have after several months not having to do the dishes.

I love to try opposite things, and though it makes me seem inconsistent, it totally fits into my philosophy: "Life is full of difficult decisions, why don't give everything a try?"

I love fairness AND inequality. Fairness is that everything, in my philosophy, should be shared equally. Inequality is that sometimes you will find yourself using the whole room for the entire week when I decide to move my stuffs to Starbucks.

I love sharing AND solitary. Sharing is that you can find consultation from me about anything, from Cal problems to your annoying laptop. Solitary is that once in a while, I will disappear for a few days retreating to a motel room trying to finish my term paper.

I love Casablanca AND Transformers. So if you catch me watching a Classic one night, don't hesitate to give me a call when you need company to the movie.

I am a big fan of environmentalism AND consumerism. I find great interest in buying strange devices and different clothes, but if you need a hand recycle bottles and newspapers, I'm in. I love fast car and want some day can buy one myself, but riding a bike along the beach gives me enjoyment as well.

Last, if you ask me about partying, everything I'd say is: "Follow the flow of life, and you will find where you should stand".

To know anything else about me, please wait until I have got admitted.

Thank everyone for reading.
meisj0n 8 / 272 2  
Dec 17, 2009   #2
Don't worry, after one year with me, you will master the way of listening to random music as I do.

haha. isn't there only ONE way of listening to music? by our ears? or do you mean like hanging upside down, in the bathroom, while you sleep...etc? quite informal, but I like the idea.

You will see that is a nice trait I have after several months not having to do the dishes.

more formal here? the jocular tone doesn't quite fit everywhere

I love fairness AND inequality. Fairness is that everything, in my philosophy, should be shared equally. Inequality is that sometimes you will find yourself using the whole room for the entire week when I decide to move my stuffs to Starbucks.

again, the informal..I'm guessing your gonna use that the whole way through. ok. but stuffs? make these two ideas flow more rather than just one ideal and the other an example. Why CAPS the AND? same with next sentence..

sharing and solitary are not parallel nouns

Cal problems? calculus? how is that sharing?
annoying laptop? WHAT:?

I love fast car and want some day can buy one myself, but riding a bike along the beach gives me enjoyment as well.

I drive fast car too :S. um. the grammar went wack here. what does this have to do about you? about learning about YOU?

Last, if you ask me about partying, everything I'd say is: "Follow the flow of life, and you will find where you should stand".
To know anything else about me, please wait until I have got admitted.

the quote, it's not much about you unless you say that it is. also...the admitted thing. Iono. it's your call.. but I'd leave it out

Comments: informal much, information much too much. I'm not saying that I didn't do something similar, but maybe narrow down to a few things that are more important to you? show how each thing reflects who you are and how these are just a list of things you do. The double comparison idea/technique is nice, but maybe mention that you ADORE opposites? that you don't just stick with the conventional, the norm, but that you hang on the edge? good luck
OP viettran92 4 / 8  
Dec 17, 2009   #3
Thank you very much for a in-depth comment.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 19, 2009   #4
Don't worry, after one year with me, you will have mastered the art of listening to random music. as I do. ---> that is my idea, but only keep it if you like it.

Inequality is that phenomenon you experien ce when, sometimes, you will find yourself using the whole room for the entire week when I decide to move my stuffs to Starbucks.

I think this is definitely a successful essay. You seem to have become very inspired, and what you wrote is as amusing as it is thoughtful. Can you incorporate some discussion of your career aspirations?


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