Hi! Please I'm badly in need of your honest opinion and suggestions on improving my Chicago essay. Do you think the essay is appropriate? does it answer the question very well? what can I do to improve the Grammar and Clarity. I'm very grateful for your help.
"Just as we outgrow a pair of trousers, we outgrowacquintances, libraries,etc...at times before they are worn out and at times- and this is worst of all- before we have new ones." Write an essay about something you have outgrown, perhaps before you have a replacement- a friend, a political philosophy,... What has taken its place?
CHICAGO EXTENDED ESSAY
Solo: "Mo ri tenisi."
All: "Tenisi."
Solo: "Bawo lo se ri?"
All: "Old-soja-no -go- die tenisi."...
Meaning
Solo: "I saw a pair of sneakers."
All: "A pair of sneakers"
Solo: "What is it like?"
All: "It is like that of an old weary ex-soldier."
This was the usual song of ridicule directed to hurt me by some of my mischievous primary class mates. Because I live with my grandparents, I always have school accessories custom-designed to last longer; mum wouldn't bring me another one till the following session. So while other kids are putting on fanciful school sandals, I was putting on a pair of tough-looking sneakers. And this became the target of jesting by some classmates. I felt slighted by their song especially because these mockers are the class's dumbest kids. I made many attempts to stop these songs and names-callings, like pushing my grandpa to talk to the ringleader's dad, but they were in vain. I supposed that they might have stopped if I had summoned the courage to report them to our teacher, but I was afraid of being mislabeled further as the teacher's pet. Instead I chose to endure their mockery, hurting more, and becoming extremely sensitive of others opinions about me.
When I got so fed up with their behavior, I begged my mum to buy me sandals like everybody else's. Unfortunately, I got a new sandal but never a new image. It was the same old teasing. Then I concluded that I'm probably not sophisticated enough to fit in. And this poor self perception followed me to secondary school. On getting there, I made several failed attempts at moving with the "happening girls". More so, my day student status has shoved me into the category of "boring village student" by our more exposed boarding counterparts from the cities.
However, something happened that changed my outlook. On my thirteenth birthday, to mark my initiation into the teenagers' world, mum gave me a valuable present in the form of an adolescent issues' book. I became aware of my self-worth. But, the incident that completely freed me from criticisms hurtful imprisonment happened in the class. It was at the end of school examinations when we all indulge in games and storytelling. My turn came to narrate my story, and as I was doing it everybody was attentive. Just then, Barbara, who was out of the class before, barged in and interrupted my storytelling with an insultive remark, "you mean you are all listening to her?" I flared up and I had to restrain myself from slapping her. I then launched into a venom-laden, abusive speech, releasing all the past hurts. I amazed everybody, including me, by my outburst. Later when I calm down, I was ashamed of my anger and I apologized to her. But I have made my mark. I have set myself free from all critics' entanglements.
I began to blossom in this new found self-identity and self-appreciation. Gone was the past hurts of disapproval and jeering. I can now be myself and I don't have to conform to others preset image. Several years later at a youth camp, a close friend made a joke about my nightdress being worn out and crying for a replacement. I replied by saying that it was a precious gift from my great grandmother. I marveled at my calm response, at how much I've got over being odd among mates. I realized that my individuality is a part of my personality; it is what I a made of.
I have outgrown being oversensitive of others perception of me and their subsequent mocking if they find me short of their standard. I have overcome a low self esteem and I now appreciate myself more. I've grown more confident in my abilities and I value my uniqueness even if I'm not dress in the latest designer wears like everybody else. I have also learnt to be mindful of others feelings and to encourage rather than devalue them, because I had once been a victim of others' jeers.
