Prompt:Something that I secretly like but pretend not to.
Thanks a lot for feedback guys.
The famous challenge put forth at my high school is to beat an undefeated teacher in chess- win and you become legendary. It came unexpectedly, I had only gotten back into chess since playing avidly in my youth. My win brought me fame, fame that I played off. I was proud to win, yet uncertain about how I was viewed. I decided to play off my passion for the game, claiming that I play "once in a blue moon" and that it was all luck. I was afraid I would lose my image. But I believe it was after this win that actually made me realize my true affection for the game.
Something is different about the game of chess for me. Despite stereotypes, it's a very social game. There is a mystical, enigmatic relationship that you develop with you opponent. You don't hate them, you don't like them, and you don't feel anything but the pieces that you touch. All your moves seem to channel your emotions and feelings that you've kept in your head. Although each move is thought through carefully, your mind's thought process is influenced by how you feel. Your mind and heart becomes connected, minutes tick by without you looking up, chaos from your life is forgotten. After the game, the connection is lost, whether you win or lose you look at your opponent with the same blank face you did when you sat down. It is during chess where I find I understand other people the most.
Yay for UVA (=
I decided to play off my passion for the game -> Hrmm, the repetition of "play off" bothers me a bit (maybe I'm OCD...). Try changing it up. Maybe "tone down"
But I believe it was after this win that actually made me realize my true affection for the game.
I like your second paragraph a lot - I especially like the ending! So unique. On the other hand, I feel like you should throw in a sentence or two about why you pretend not to like chess, which I don't really understand right now. Was it an issue of humility? Or, at least make that more clear in the 1st paragraph.
Want to return the favor? Thanks!
No complaints. I know that's what people hate to hear on this website, but I think it is really well written.
Although, you may want to consider making it more direct that you won the chess match, even though it becomes quite clear.
Please take a look at my Dickinson Supplement Essay. I would really appreciate feedback.
Well, I am also dealing with this question for UVa painfully but have no results yet.
I think u did a quite good job. The topic and direction is quite interesting.
But something harsh, I think I don't feel quite impressive after my reading.
And the structure is not that clear, that is to say, a little bit messy.
Take what u need.^^
Actually, I think that there are many things that I dislike but pretend to like.
But most of them are really trivial or some very personal things.
So I still have no idea now.
Do u and anyone have some good suggestion?
Thanks a lot^^
