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Something went out not like I expected

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)*

Autodidactism (self-education)

In 2012, my parents decided that it was time for us to leave Qatar and move to Egypt.It wasn't easy for me to live apart from my father, and I never thought that after spending there 13 years of my life, the storms could take me to my motherland, Egypt, but it happened. I lived in a countryside where people's mindset and tradition were the polar opposite of mines.

I attended school for the first two months; teachers were consistently following the method of indoctrination in teaching students. Compelling me to learn from their notes and to solve LOTS of past papers. Furthermore, their notes contained whole texts which had no technical relevance to the syllabus.To the point, where many of my friends traveled to Cairo and Alexandria specifically to enroll in courses provided by more qualified teachers. Unfortunately, I had no accommodation at that time in Cairo, so I decided to purchase the necessary textbooks for each subject I registered for to start my self-studying journey; It took a while to convince my parents at first, but they finally respected my decision and encouraged me all the way. I self-studied throughout my years in high school. Although there were plenty of resources to refer to on the internet, it took me a tremendous amount of time to sort out the ones that served my needs and eliminate other resources that were either too simple or too sophisticated. At days I progressed, some speedily, some steadily, some with pauses. Having misconceptions was regularly common, I struggled many times with not finding a resource that could unravel the knots of certain topics. However, I ended up scoring good marks on most of the subjects

The idea of challenge that you brought in this essay has imbalance portion of discussion. You are told to "Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?". I have read the essay and I am quite sure that your outline might look like this:

- 1st challenge = people's mindset & tradition were the opposite of yours
- 1st effort to manage the situation = no clear explanation

- 2nd challenge = the notes had no technical relevance to the syllabus and no accommodation
- 2nd effort to manage the situation = self-studying by buying textbooks

- 3rd challenge = struggled many times and didn't find the resource
- 3rd effort to manage the situation = no clear explanation. It seems to the reader like it was really surprising to reach good marks on most subjects.

From the above-description, I suggest you to revise the essay in a clearer way that somehow your challenge(s) can be managed well by you. Yet, something that actually still bothers me is the prompt itself. It is pretty clear that it should be "THE MOST SIGNIFICANT CHALLENGE" which means not more than one. It needs to be specific on 'the most significant challenge' only, not the others. I am afraid that you have unconsciously gone out of the prompt. Just think about it and make some revisions based on my feedback.
What I was trying to emphasize was my self-studying journey throughout high school by showing the reader my reasons on why I took such decision and the difficulties I faced during that time. So I don't know why is it that what I wrote is irrelevant to what the question is asking for.
It is not something that irrelevant mate, it is just you add more information that is unnecessary. Also, you missed some important points that should be elaborated. Try to differentiate what I have just said earlier. For instance, in the first paragraph, you have mentioned the first challenge about the people but then you just left it out without any elaboration. I am quite sure that you need to also explain how you manage the situation of the people in the place that you moved in. Then, in the last part of the second paragraph, it seems a little bit jumpy because you wrote a clear challenge about your struggle, but you didn't explain the reason why did you finally come up with good marks on each subject. Therefore, I can say there are two major things that are problematical in your essay. However, apart from those, you might need to take a closer look on the prompt again. It says 'the most significant challenge' and not 'the most significant challenges'. This means it needs to be only one challenge, not more than one like you have written above.

Nevertheless, this is just my opinion or feedback related to your essay. It is not necessary to be considered anyway. I hope that I am able to help. It is still your decision whether to accept this or not.
Should I remove this part "people's mindset & tradition were the opposite of yours". I added this after my sentence which starts with "having misconceptions.." Although I was going through pain while studying, being exposed to different resources helped me develop my concepts as each resource represents the concept in a different way where one resource could make me understand something in a better way than the other. How can I come up with a closing sentence that includes scoring good marks
Feb 16, 2017   #6
I am of a different opinion on this matter. Due to the fact that your previous response already spoke of your ability to self-study, you should choose another topic to discuss. Remember that these essays are preliminary interviews. These are your first chances to impress the reviewer with your qualities both as a student and as a person. So the reviewer looks for versatility or a variation in the way that you respond to the questions. He wants to get to know more about you beyond your academic abilities. Therefore, you need to vary your responses accordingly. That means, use an academic response for some and personal responses for others. In this instance, the prompt is asking for a more personal response as an indication of the kind of person that you are and student that you can be. Based upon how you handled a situation that is out of your comfort zone. This is not the time to discuss another academic problem. This is the time to show a personal resolve or strength so that the reviewer can get to know you on a more personal basis. In my opinion. You need to change the topic of your discussion to something more character building and less academically concerned. This is just my opinion though. If you want to continue using this essay then that is fine as well.

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