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"Sonata Allegro of Life" UC Prompt 1

jeffliwin 3 / 8  
Nov 26, 2009   #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

The Sonata-Allegro form of music can be captured in three stages: the exposition, the development, and the recapitulation. This form also is the structure of my life. The story of life is an ever flowing, intricate piece of work, and influenced by culture, interests, and experiences.

The Exposition. In music, this is where the theme, the initial story begins. As a child, I was given so many opportunities, so many chances to get ahead in life. Open doors paved the road of my life's story. I dabbled in music, in art, in language, and so much more. My parents were supportive during this time, giving me the freedom to choose and find my passions and joys.

The Development. In this stage, the story takes an interesting turn, and a contrast of the theme is introduced. For me, this began when my brother was born. I was an only child for six years, the center of attention, the star. But when my siblings, who are two years apart, where born, my parent's attention shifted towards them. Unable to cope with this drastic change in my life, I changed for the worse. I was no longer motivated, no longer happy. There was no precise date, but a gradual process, in which I lost my voice. I stopped drawing, for fear it wasn't good enough. I stopped writing, for it didn't attract the attention I desired. For years, my development lasted, years of self-induced misery.

The Recapitulation. The finale of the piece, the moment where the audience is taken back to the original theme, and the piece is concluded. This is my resolution. I don't know what caused it, perhaps it was the years of pent up emotions, but I finally awoke, from an ethereal dream, and I realized that I don't live to seek attention, I don't live for others. I live for myself. This moment, this realization, was what made me who I am today. I set my own goals, I make my own path, and I write my own story. And although the recapitulation is the ending for a musical journey, it is the beginning of mine.

I had alot of trouble with this essay and I wrote on 5 other topics. PLease give me feedback because I wrote this in 10 minutes, but I think its the best I can do with it
work2009 1 / 2  
Nov 26, 2009   #2
I find this essay very beautifully written. The general idea is consistent throughout the essay flowing into something anyone can relate to but only you can think of to put into words. I like it very much. The only thing I can say is the beginning of each paragraph was with the main idea, now this could be seen as brilliant or plain. You don't want to loose the reader with those pauses caused by the start of the paragraph , because you obviously know how to write a nice piece.

If you don't mind i would appreciate it if you can give me some insight on my essay for you have a nice way of wording things.
FireTiger 8 / 49  
Nov 26, 2009   #4
I love it. Both your essays are amazing and memorable and I went back to it after exiting the screen. :)

Write mine for me please :))))
OP jeffliwin 3 / 8  
Nov 26, 2009   #5
lol thanks alot i really appreciate it, and i'd love to help you with yours
MonsieurWise 2 / 21  
Nov 26, 2009   #6
I cannot believe you only spent 10 minutes on this... Gee!! This essay is both solid and consistent, so interesting to read. Your opening wonderfully wrapped up everything on the essay.

I have nothing else to say...10 minutes?? It took me about 4 days for my horrible essays...I just sit there looking at the blank page.

I'm sorry I'm so useless, I can't find a flaw...
Could you read mine too if you have time...?
We have same last name O.o. However, our writing skills are so different >"<
polytag - / 10  
Nov 26, 2009   #7
Good structure and well-written! In the stage of recapitulation, you may talk about future goals unless this essay is used for admission to a course in music.

it is the beginning of mine

So what journey of yours is beginning? The reader will be curious to know. This is where you can shed some light about your aspirations.
OP jeffliwin 3 / 8  
Nov 26, 2009   #8
Thanks for the advice, this isnt for a music major, but the thing is, I want to major in prelaw and honestly i had no idea what to do. I want to keep the last sentence as is because it completes the circle, but if someone can tell me how I should incorporate my dreams otherwise, its is appreciated.

thanks in advance
FireTiger 8 / 49  
Nov 26, 2009   #9
If you do have some time, do you think you could help me with mine?
I am totally addicted to your style of writing :)))

Thanks in advance :D

PS: Maybe talk about your future career and dreams somewhere in the recapitulation part? And i agree with ending it on that same sentence, but if you talk about your dreams earlier, then people will know what you mean by "beginning of my journey"

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