Its still incredibly rough, particularly the last two paragraphs, but i would like to get some opinions on my essay while I still have time. Any general thoughts, especially on whether its clear or not, or major revisions would be great as I enter revision mode.
The prompt is pretty much anything, just tell us something about yourself. I think this kind of meets that, but its a bit of a stretch. The word limit is 500 and I am only a little over that right now.
Thanks a lot in advance!
I love paper. It sounds peculiar even as I write it, but I love paper; not so much for what it is, but for what it signifies. From art, to books, to scientific dissertations, paper represents the ability to bring new ideas of any kind into reality. My ability to learn from the ideas and discoveries of other, my ability to compose my own ideas into anything I choose, and my ability to leave those ideas for the profit of others all stem from one symbol: paper.
Some foresee the death of paper as kindles and Google take the place of books and encyclopedias. It may change medium every so often, but the benefit of the idea behind paper remains. Paper grants me access to the best ideas and discoveries to come from the brightest people in history. The more I read the more I appreciate this fact. With each turn of the pages of a novel and each search on Wikipedia I realize how much I benefit from the work of others. Almost all the luxuries I enjoy are result of people who were willing to produce and share their ideas. This gratitude I owe inspires me to contribute ideas of my own.
Staring a blank sheet of paper I am inspired into thought. Drawing is something I have enjoyed doing as long as I can remember. Seeing a work of art that I created where there once existed nothing but that plain sheet of paper is quite a feeling of accomplishment. Though as I look at my completed works I can't help but glance down at the empty sketch pad containing fresh sheets of paper and think how in many ways the blank ones are more interesting than anything I could have created to this point. The creation of each drawing inevitably opens opportunities for a better next creation next time because of the experience the last provided. I find this to be true of all creation; each science or math problem I solve opens the door for many more. I also learned from drawing that ideas can take a significant amount of revision before becoming something meaningful. When I think them, my ideas seem clear and thorough. It is only when I attempt to write what seem to be clear thoughts down and I am forced to complete a cohesive idea on a piece of paper that I realize how much work is required to bring an idea to fruition.
The story goes that upon asking what the purpose of certain lab equipment was Mrs. Einstein received the answer "to probe the deepest secrets of our universe", to which she responded "is that all? My husband does that on the back of old envelopes!" I support the notion that some of the most important achievements are made fueled by little more than paper and brainpower. This notion was a main motivation for my choosing to go into physics: I hope to add to my own knowledge and that of the world. In writing down my theories and discoveries, I can benefit others in a way that does not end with my death. This is my purpose in seeking an education and a career in scientific research: to make my ideas a reality.
I'll be willing to help you with your essay if you can help me with me mine.
Google take the place of... --> taking
When I think them, my ideas... --> sounds a bit awkward. How about "When I devise them" or even "When I imagine them"?
Other than these minor errors, I enjoyed reading your essay. I like how you included an aspect of yourself that doesn't necessarily relate to science or physics. Good luck!
