Personal Essay for Common App: Topic of my choice
Any correction would be helpful! Thanks
Born and raised in South Korea, I was a Korean kid down to my bones: I liked playing RPG games in the PC lounge, going for a dip in the nearby mountain creeks that ran cold and clear, and especially hiking with my dad every Sunday morning. Visiting the market place with my mom was also exciting: it was full of loud noises, interesting scents, and delicious food. As a kid, I pondered from time to time what my life would be like in five years. Back then, I had no idea that I would end up in a foreign country, speaking a foreign language. The winter of 2005, I was given two choices: either stay in my home country, my home town, where everything was familiar, or tag along with my dad to this land called America. This opportunity stirred me inside; I craved for a change, something to get me out of the town I've known for twelve years. Without hesitation, I grabbed the opportunity. I looked forward to all my new American friends, American hamburgers and big cars.
I landed in Chicago, full of hope and excitement. Being surrounded by a diverse group of people I had only seen in movies excited me, in spite of my anxiety. I was amazed! I definitely knew I was going to learn a lot of English here. What I didn't know was that this beautiful mix of culture would be deeply instilled in my bones along with my Korean culture. I fell in love with this country and decided to stay through all of middle and high school even after my dad and sister returned to Korea. I learned a lot of English, for sure. But I learned something even more valuable during the past seven years here. Being different was hard, especially in the middle of Kansas where I was one of the few Asian kids in my middle school.
Returning to Korea the summer before my freshman year, I realized my attitude was all wrong. Walking down familiar streets in Korea, I remembered my childhood. I remembered the things I used to do for fun as a kid, untainted by foreign culture. The savory taste of my mother's Kimchi soup took me back to the time I only knew Korean food. I remembered the meaning of my given name: a serene pond.
That humid summer in Korea taught me to not only accept my differences, but also to be proud of my heritage. I learned to embrace my culture as it is. From performing traditional Korean Fan Dance for a local Asian Festival to sharing the Korean culture with my school on Diversity Night, I came to accept myself for who I am instead of hiding it. I still love being submerged in the American culture - going to Friday football games or picking up pumpkins to carve for Halloween - but being grounded in my heritage enables me to be open to new experiences, for inside I feel at home wherever I go.
During the winter of 2005, I was given two choices:
I looked forward to all my new American friends, American hamburgers, and big cars.
However, I learned something even more valuable during the past seven years here.
I changed a couple of grammatical things as you can see above.
Overall, I think this is a good essay! Great topic!
