Answer the following prompt in roughly 250 words.
This is a rough draft of my essay and any revision, critique, and/or general help would be greatly admired.
I would explain what my points are, but if you can't already tell what they are then obviously my essay isn't doing it's job.
"Esta servidooo!!!" screams my mother from the top of the stairs, signaling dinner is ready. "Ya voy!" I scream back. Spanish is the only language spoken in my household.
It was the first language I learned and, as I assimilated into American life through elementary school and television, my mother did everything she could to keep me from forgetting it. My family always stressed that losing our culture, especially our language, was out of the question. They knew how important an element it would be in the future, my future.
To further preserve my culture my family sent me to Ecuador, our country of origin, as often as possible. Every summer since I was four until I was fifteen was spent in Guayaquil. Reflecting on the summers I spent there I realize how important they were in my development. Classes in art, equestrianism, fútbol, salsa-dancing, and swimming paired with meeting distant family members and self-discovery. It was a new environment for me, a new world.
This new world taught me how life was in places of the world where the sun didn't shine as often or as brightly as it did in the U.S. It allowed me to develop a unique culture and incorporate that with my life in America; permitting me to construct my own outlook on the world and life itself -realistic but imaginative. My culture is my identity. My family helped me discover it, and I owe it to them to embrace it.
Tell me what you think! Thanks in advance!
the beginning is pretty decent, very vivid.
The last sentence seems a bit dull and abrupt in my opinion. Then again, I'm not so much of an essay grader myself, so it might be fine the way it is-to each his own.
Overall, I think it's quite good; 250 words is not much room to work with after all.
I think is great! My native language is also Spanish, and you have to be very proud, as I am to talk both spanish and english. You could talk how difficult was to take in practice your culture in the US. In general, it's great!
