zrabbat93 1 / 3 Jan 1, 2011 #1I need some help, my deadline is soon and i feel this essay is still very weak, any comments or suggestion however harsh will be greatly appreciated.2. There is a Quaker saying: "Let your life speak." Describe the environment in which you were raised-your family, home, neighborhood, or community - and how it influenced the person you are today. (200-250 words)(I need an attention grabber saying my little brother is autistic) . His complex journey to happiness through the hard trials of autism has changed my perspective and way of life. I think I could say that the biggest change in me was the way I looked at others. I know now the importance of being unique. Men and women who made a difference in our world were all special in their own way. Today, my brother pushes me to want greater things than just a basic life. I am able to push my ambitions, keeping in mind that I want to be an inspiration to my brother as he is to me. Also the obstacles he has overcome throughout his journey have motivated me to overcome my own challenge. I consider myself lucky to have such a brother because I learn so much from him everyday, he has influenced me in such a way that I want to share all I have learned from him with everyone around me. I have already started my own campaign on spreading autism awareness in my community; I have organizes debates, discussion groups and given a speech in front of 400 students at Harvard University. When I look back now at what I have done, it still surprises me. I never thought that I could turn what seemed to me a problem into a motivation to help others and to spread awareness of such a cause.
budboi 1 / 4 Jan 1, 2011 #2You could use a conclusion which presents what you have learnt after you state what you thought.A conclusion is generally better in present tense and context.Good luck.
