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Special needs student ; STANFORD - WHAT MATTERS TO YOU AND WHY?


ReshmaA 3 / 14 1  
Dec 31, 2012   #1
2000 characters max. Thank you all for your feedback!!

"Buuul, beeeer, c-laaaa, c-c-c-
"Cr," I corrected Derek, a special needs student to whom I teach at Kumon.
This was his first day working with new material. He had officially moved from level 5A, learning sounds, to 4A, forming blends with two letters. I could sense his hesitation and increasing frustration as he tried to formulate the sounds of each blend with his mouth.

"Repeat after me, cccccrrrr," I said, enunciating the way the mouth created the sound.
After a few moments of distracting himself by playing with his pencil, he went back to work and gave his best effort to sound out the remaining blends that he needed to study that day. I began to focus my attention on the three other students around me. At the moment, I had Payal, who was working on differentiating the "r" sound from "l," Erin, who, despite never completing any of her homework, was zooming through her reading, and Sam, who had trouble distinguishing sixteen from twenty-six, but now, a month later, was practicing his plus two's.

Each child at my table was building a foundation for future knowledge, and I knew that I played a part in the construction. Since my first day at Kumon, I have grown to absolutely love teaching. My students, ranging from three- to six- years old, have progressed so much. As each student learns a new skill that was entirely foreign to him or her the week before, my pride for them increases, and I feel humbled. Through them, I, too, have gained so much knowledge, especially insight into how children learn and develop. As they have advanced, I have gained understanding of how they comprehend that "cat" sounds the way it does and that sixty comes after fifty-nine.

Through teaching, I have been able to help these children achieve their best at such a young age and have acquired a great amount of satisfaction from doing so. I know that by teaching, I am making a difference for each child and building a foundation on which they will grow and use as support for further knowledge.
umecollege 2 / 17 2  
Dec 31, 2012   #2
Wow very well written essay. The sound in the beginning of the essay definitely caught my attention and flowed well to your main points. I don't think I can point out any major errors. Good job !!
ding377 1 / 29 2  
Dec 31, 2012   #3
Hihihihi :) (It's me.) Here are my suggestions:

a special needs student to whomwho I teach at Kumon
Also, not everyone knows what Kumon is, so you may want to add that it's a learning center, etc.

This was his first day working with the new material.

He had officially moved from level 5A, learning sounds, to 4A. This is just a comment to make sure you didn't make a typo: Someone moves from level 5 to 4?

I had Payal, who was working on differentiating the "r" sound from the "l"; Erin, who, despite never completing any of her homework, was zooming through her reading; and Sam, who had trouble distinguishing sixteen from twenty-six, but now, a month later, was practicing (his plus two's.) adding two.

Love your essay <3
OP ReshmaA 3 / 14 1  
Dec 31, 2012   #4
@umecollege, thank you! I will in a bit.

@ding377, hehe thank youuuu!! you are the bestest.
YES, Kumon is weird. You start with 7A and go up and then you travel to A, B, C, etc.

Did I put enough "why"?
kmedina217 1 / 4 1  
Dec 31, 2012   #5
You've definitely caught people's attention right away, which is great! I can't really point out anything that hasn't been spoken about already. Best of luck to you!
OP ReshmaA 3 / 14 1  
Dec 31, 2012   #6
I'm still not sure if I emphasize "why" enough here!

right now I have 1,995 characters and I have no idea if I can weed out anything to put more "why."
OhBeExGmoney 1 / 3  
Dec 31, 2012   #7
I like the beginning! Great Hook! But I understand about not knowing how to weed in "why?" I believe you should dwell on why this is the MOST important (or what matters the most to you) topic to you then you may be able to expand on the "why?" part
mahmoudjendy 7 / 17  
Dec 31, 2012   #8
i like ur essay !!! i think u have a great essay but not it is in the right place... u wrote expediences not what matter to u and why ?

can anyone help me in my essay and thnx
kellyjanemartin 3 / 18 2  
Dec 31, 2012   #9
Wow. Other than "a special needs student to whom who I teach at Kumon" and explaining what Kumon is, this is fantastic. I have to admit I teared up a bit. You're just a really awesome person. Thank you for all your work <3
OP ReshmaA 3 / 14 1  
Dec 31, 2012   #10
Thank you, @kellyjanemartin!!! You have no idea how much that means to me.
noahremillard 2 / 3  
Dec 31, 2012   #11
I love this essay, but the only thing I had a problem with was that you didn't really explain why it matters to you. Maybe expand on why you first started volunteering and why it makes a difference to them. Maybe say how fortunate you feel that you don't struggle with these things and why it means so much for them to overcome these difficulties.

I'm kind of splitting hairs here but it's hard not to when it's written so well.

Good luck with Stanford!
OP ReshmaA 3 / 14 1  
Dec 31, 2012   #12
This is my job! And these kids are still 3-6 years old so it's pretty natural for them to struggle with these things.

Thank you! It's my dream school, haha.
OP ReshmaA 3 / 14 1  
Dec 31, 2012   #13
Thank you, Jack!! YESSS, it has been too long.
I actually wanted you to proofread my other essay hahaha. But thank you!
rew2402 5 / 21  
Dec 31, 2012   #14
I Simply loved your starting. the description and the imagery,
what i wanted to correct has already been done by one of the members
all in all, a very good essay :)

P.S check mine asap? please? it's urgent
OP ReshmaA 3 / 14 1  
Dec 31, 2012   #15
Thank you! I will right now :)
HarvardAccept - / 57 24  
Dec 31, 2012   #16
I will proofread your other one right now :)


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