Explain how you responded to a significant challenge that you have encountered and what you learned in the process. (maximum 200 words)
Bam!
A sound of cards splattering on the ground.
What did I get myself into?
My teachers have always told me I was a confident speaker and I never doubted them for a second, so why could I feel shivers running up and down my spine?
It was the preliminary round for a speech competition - my audience was but my class, shouldn't it be easy?
What was running through my head when I chose 'prom' as my topic? And to make matters worse, I started off by dropping my speech cards and slamming my head against the podium. I could feel my face burning - on fire even. Where were the unnecessary fire drills?
There was no backing out now.
My eyes drifted across the audience, from my classmates to teachers. Their eyes bore a sense of anticipation.
And then it hit me.
I was a confident speaker. I was a confident speaker because I never let small things bother me, nor have I ever faltered from past mistakes. So why should I start faltering now?
And so I started, "Ladies and gentlemen, we all make our mistakes here and there, but there come times when we just shine..."
199 Words.
Urgh, extremely rough at the moment.
Hi, Ellis! I love this--I think it is really gutsy, and will be impressive to your reader, to tell your story creatively in this way. However, I think you need to expand more on your thought process when you went from scared to confident. A couple more sentences there is really all this needs content-wise. In terms of cutting words, you can get rid of your eyes drifting across the audience, and you can tighten up the end to cut ten or twelve words, which should leave you enough for the sentence or two more that you need. I hope that helps!
Aw, thanks a lot.
My thought processes are always messy, hahah.
wow....very impressive. I love it too : )
However, I think you need to expand more on your thought process when you went from scared to confident. A couple more sentences there is really all this needs content-wise.
I think this is very good piece of advice.My thought processes are always messy, hahah.
that helps you to be a creative writer ; )Dumi, thank youu. :)
Even if it's just emphasising a piece of advice - it helps me know what to focus on :)
I also think there should be a smoother transition to when you became more confident.
However, I think the rest of the essay is good in the sense that it makes the reader ask for more.
I think there are some missing pieces, like the essay is not a cohesive whole. Eg. you were a confident speaker( how did you suddenly get stage fright? However, what you have done in 200 words is pretty impressive.
