Can you edit these for me?
Describe how you plan to enrich the environment at the LDS Church College/University you hope to attend, and how you will contribute back to your family, community and the Church upon leaving this school.
My ethnicity comes from Sri Lanka, and as a Canadian citizen with a diverse background I can bring my unique culture, intelligence and talents to help enrich this environment. I am keen to help my fellow peers at the LDS church College/University to also succeed as well-rounded students and continue to develop the desire to be great future leaders in the world. I plan to do that through sharing my language, Tamil and my talent in music by communication, teaching and playing the piano and flute. I anticipate the time to share my listening skills and open-minded personality to the people around me. As well as being able to share my strong testimony of the gospel and be the Christ-like example in my classes, outside of school, and Latter Day Saint Activities. After I cherish the moments at BYU, I plan to further my education in business and go on a mission. Later, I plan to become an inspiring high school teacher and recall my professors and peers and what they taught me and develop good individuals that will benefit society. Similar to the experience in the movie Freedom Writers.
If I should write anything, please feel free to do so!
Describe a setback you have encountered in your life. Explain how you have handled the situation and what you have learned from it.
My best friend recently decided that she was not coming to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints no longer. This became a setback in my life because I started to question her decision of why she would do this and if this friendship is worth having anymore if we did not share the same values and standards. I know this church is true and the gospel is true and it did not make sense to me why she decided this because she once also had a strong testimony of Jesus Christ. It became hard for me to talk to her about personal issues because she had worldly and not spiritually thoughts or not force her to come to church because I love her so much. However, I learned that it is her agency to decide her decisions and I can only be a good example and pray for her. I know, one day she will realize the truthfulness because she was fed the gospel of Jesus Christ and she will come back to the source of her true happiness through Heavenly Father. I will always love her and be there patiently waiting for her to realize the truth again.
If I should write anything, please feel free to do so!
Hi Dianne, thank you for giving me helpful advice for my essay.
i have read your essay and feel that it's rather easy to follow your idea because it is expressed clearly.
If only my English were better so that I could be more helpful for you, but I think these are interesting essays which are fun and pleasant to read
:D
A setback encountered in my life essay x3. thank you in advance!
Can someone edit my university essays and tell me how they are and what you think of me readings these essays?
These are my essays to BYU. Can you edit these (only 200 words), and tell me if it captures peoples attention and is what it might say about myself? Any and all compliments and critism is fine by me. thanks in advance!
Describe a setback you have encountered in your life. Explain how you have handled the situation and what you have learned from it.
I actively attend church each week and I love it! It takes me away from the world, and every week I renew my covenants through partaking of the sacrament. Last summer, I had a mild case of pneumonia which lasted for 3 weeks; during this time I was unable to attend Young Women's camp. As I was ill, I didn't attend church and I quickly grew accustomed to not going. After I was better, I didn't feel the spirit and had no desire to go to church, partially because I was angry that I had missed the opportunity to go to camp. I was physically stronger, but spiritually I was dying. Not going to church weakened my testimony. I started to pray and read the scriptures, and I remembered the reason why I go to church. I go to church because I want to become closer to God. Through this physical challenge, I've realized that staying close to my Heavenly Father is essential. Setbacks happen along the pathway to success. These setbacks give us the opportunity to become stronger, to look back and say "I've made it through!" I've truly learned that setbacks are nothing to fear.
Describe how you plan to enrich the environment at the LDS Church College/University you hope to attend, and how you will contribute back to your family, community and the Church upon leaving this school.
My parents were born in Sri Lanka, and as a Canadian citizen with a diverse background I will bring my unique culture, intelligence and talents to help enrich the school environment. I am keen to help my peers at BYU by providing a distinct voice in discussions in and out of class. I'm also excited to share my musical talents. I play the piano, flute and I sing. In high school I've had the opportunity to sing in the choir and sit on band council which has taught me the importance of patience as a leadership skill. I anticipate being able to share my strong testimony of the gospel and be a Christ-like example in my classes and outside of school. After I complete my degree at BYU, I plan to serve a mission. Having a degree from BYU combined with the experience I will gain as a missionary will help prepare me to work in business when I return home. My integrity and my leadership skills will enable me to be a successful contributing member of society in my chosen profession. As well I will be prepared to be a wife and a mother with numerous talents and skills to teach the next generation.
Tell us anything else you want us to know about yourself that you haven't had the opportunity to describe elsewhere in the application.
Imagine being the only member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in your school. Now imagine being the only member of the church in an all girls Catholic high school. I have been questioned many times about the difficulty of maintaining a strong testimony in this Catholic environment. My answer is always the same, it isn't difficult. Being in this school, I have had the opportunity to make friends who respect my beliefs and learn about theirs. I've taught my friends and peers about the church, and I've been able to correct some common misunderstandings, and help them see that we are also Christians. Sharing the doctrines of the church with my teachers was difficult at first, but in my junior year I had the opportunity to do a presentation about the church. I was filled with the spirit as I bore truths of the church's doctrines and values. I am excited about a new missionary opportunity I will have this year as I participate in a Leadership Trip to India with my school. I look forward to sharing the hope of Jesus Christ with the children I'll meet and work with in India.
