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"Stand up for what I believe"- Lehigh Supplements.


ksm1872 1 / -  
Dec 30, 2012   #1
Hello, thank you so much for taking your time on helping me with this small essay. I am not a native english speaker and I need help with grammar and to make this understandable and clear for everybody.

The prompt is:

1. People face challenges every day. Some make decisions that force them beyond their comfort levels. Maybe you have a political, social or cultural viewpoint that is not shared by the rest of your school, family or community. Did you find the courage to create a better opportunity for yourself or others? Were you able to find the voice to stand up for something you passionately supported? How did you persevere when the odds were against you?

My answer is:

I lived in Mexico for 16 years, until two years ago when I moved to El Paso, Texas with my family. In Mexico and in the United States there is a difference in cultures and beliefs. In these two years that I have been attending to boarding schools in the United States I have realized that Mexico is a very conservative country. My social, political and cultural viewpoints are different now than the ones I had before when I still lived in Mexico. In Mexico, the catholic religion is very dominant, thus all the catholic ideals and beliefs are very respected. I have been in very uncomfortable situations were my friends back in Mexico judge and show disgust to the LGBT community because the catholic church does not permit it. It is very uncomfortable for me because I have a friend here in the United States that is gay and I respect him a lot. When I heard my friends showing repugnance and even hatred to the LGBT community I could not help but to stand for what I believed. I believe we are all humans and we should all respect each other no matter the sex, the religion, or the race. I felt an urge to stand for my friend and to defend him. I was the only one in my group of friends that was not against the LGBT community. They all thought it is unnatural and against what God wants to be part of the LGBT community. I felt very uncomfortable. I felt like I was being part of a criminal injustice. So I found my voice and spoke for what I believe is correct and even though the odds were against me, I kept on defending my friend and giving reasons why I believe it is wrong to judge, not only the LGBT community, but people in general. It was hard to disagree in such a hard topic with friends that I have known for 10 years. On the other hand, I do not regret it. It was worth it and very necessary.

Thank you so much. I appreciate it a lot. Happy holidays, and happy new year!
c_lignelli 5 / 11 3  
Dec 31, 2012   #2
Your story is very interesting. I fixed just grammar, and did my best to not change any of the ideas of the sentences. I made sure you were in the right tense for the situatin you were describing in each sentence, and added a lot of commas.

Two years ago I moved to El Paso, Texas with my family. Before that, I had lived in Mexico for 16 years. In Mexico, and in the United States, there are differences in culture and beliefs. These two years which I have spent in the United States, attending various boarding schools, have made me realize that Mexico is a very conservative country. My social, political, and cultural viewpoints are different now than from what they were in Mexico. There, the Catholic religion is very dominant, thus all the catholic ideals and beliefs are very respected. I was once put in a conflicting situation where my friends back in Mexico were judging and showing disgust for the LGBT community, because the Catholic church does not permit their ideals. It is very uncomfortable for me because I have a friend here in the United States that is gay, and I respect him a lot. When I heard my friends from back home showing repugnance and even hatred to the LGBT community, I could not help but to stand up for what I believed. I believe that we are all humans, and we should all respect each other no matter the sex, the religion, or the race. I felt an urge to stand for my friend, and to defend him, but , my support of the LGBT community set me apart from my friends.They all think it is unnatural, and against God's wishes, to be part of the LGBT community. I felt very uncomfortable. I felt like I was being part of a criminal injustice. So I found my voice, and spoke for what I believe is correct. Even though the odds were against me, I kept on defending my friend and giving reasons why I believe it is wrong to judge, not only the LGBT community, but any person, in general. It was hard to disagree with the friends whom I had known for 10 years. On the other hand, I do not regret it. It was worth it and very necessary.


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