no one else really shared my passion for rapping.
In the big picture, though, tons of people share it.
I need to cut a lot from the beginning. I have a great lesson to share with you. It is important for writing and rap, because they are of course the same. You need to omit all that is not powerful.
In your lyrics, you do not allow any weak lines. Why include any weak lines? So I have to cut all the weak lines from the beginning of this essay. They are expository, informative, boring, ordinary. But you have a great sentence here:
As a kid whenever I was home alone or it was raining, instead of picking up the T.V controller I would spend hours in my room writing lyrics. ---Now HERE is a sentence that is intriguing. If you cut all the content that comes before this, it will be a great experience for the reader.
As I continue to read, it is perfect, with impressive examples and real, meaningful reflection.
I love it.
But at the end, I have to cut again:
Due to the nature of the lifestyle I have pursued since the age of nine, I think I have developed into a very creative, innovative, and individualistic person. All of these ....
That stuff is meaningless. Now take those sentences in the middle, whose lives I spared, and study them. Notice the energy that I notice in those specific sentences that follow the rule "Show, don't tell."
You have the right stuff, I think. But do not allow any sentences in your essay if they do not show the reader some imagery, some action, or some intriguing reflection.
***Informative sentences are hard work to read, so you tell info to the reader on a need to know basis. :-)